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Friend on teen date app, what do I do?!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by iamdesperate, Feb 3, 2016.

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  1. iamdesperate

    iamdesperate
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Turkey (won't tell the city tho)
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    So I am a closeted gay at the age of 17 and I just downloaded a teen dating app for gays at the age of 13-17 just out of boredom. But when I first opened an account and logged in to look up profiles, I came across an account with my friends name on it. I mean, we re not that close but we have some mutual good friends.
    I have doubted him time to time, not that feminine but mostly has female friends while not dating one. My doubt faded when one friend claimed to be kissed by him while they were drunk, shes a good friend, she wouldnt make this up.
    He honestly is very cute.I have a problem, also an advantage, that I dont fall for people I dont have a chance with but may fall for one hard if I find out I have a chance with them. So I kinda even start to like him.
    Also my defense mechanism is in, saying it was probably a fake account done by his friends as a joke. This may be true because I saw most of the pics of his on his profile before. But
    1. The app is not that widely known.
    2. There a lot of infos in his profile, unusual for a fake account.
    3.He was online while I was lookingthru it, again unusual for a fake account.
    So I still am not ready to come out but still wanna show this person... I dont know. Should I talk to him, given I have a fake name and only a view photo in my profile pic, try to give messages in real life, please dont advise this :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:, or close the subject, whic is easier in short term but harder in long term?
     
    #1 iamdesperate, Feb 3, 2016
  2. ImHappy247

    ImHappy247
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Venezuela
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    All but family
    I can relate to this, a lot. But IF it's actually a real account and it's actually your friend I think talking to him with a fake name would be, not a bad idea, just a mean thing to do. Cause if it's actually him then showing his face and his name is a brave thing to do and should be respected, in my opinion at least.

    If you think he's a cool guy and he's cute and you're interested now that he might be bi/gay/whatever then get closer to him? In real life? Just like you'd do with anyone else? If it turns out that it was a joke then you won't lose anything.

    Just think about it. When someone makes a profile in a gay app their number one fear is that: What if someone I know finds me here? And taking advantage of that is just wrong. I don't know. If he's being brave about it then you should too. But I get the fear of it being a joke, so yup. Real life talking all the way, that's my advice.:thumbsup:
     
    #2 ImHappy247, Feb 3, 2016
  3. NicoC123

    NicoC123
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Visalia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Yeah I wouldn't bring it up outright just because you are then laying yourself out without knowing if he will to. Try subtly bringing up or use the app name somewhere in conversation. It might make it easier for him to talk to you if you approach first.
     
    #3 NicoC123, Feb 3, 2016
  4. Euler

    Euler
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Northern Europe
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    If you message him in the app with your fake profile, be sure to identify yourself as soon as possible, like in the second sentence or so. To me it sounds like it's a real deal. Can you see when did he join? If it is a joke account it would be very recently created - like within a week or so. People who make that kind of jokes don't usually make them run very long.

    Perhaps you could message him and ask if he is the person he claims to be and if he says yes, introduce yourself with your real name. If he says he is not, you could just say that you know the person in real life and was interested in him.
     
    #4 Euler, Feb 4, 2016
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