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Deep Hatred...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by peachygogh, Feb 8, 2016.

  1. peachygogh

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    I think I actually hate my brother. Oops, he is just so unintelligent, and hurtful. He tells me I don't deserve to live, and makes fun of me constantly. He's told me to kill myself, and that I have no future. He makes coming home miserable, and knowing that he is a very honest person, I start to believe what he says sometimes. On top of that, apparently my dad is homophobic. I just fucking adore being trapped in this house
     
  2. Lin1

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    There is nothing bad in disliking/hating member of your family. Of course it would be better if you didn't but we don't really pick our family members, do we ?


    I personally have no affinity with both my parents and one of my brother. I find him extremely shallow and superficial with very little ambition in life and he is just the polar opposite of me. I wish I had more chemistry with them/a better relationship, but I don't and it's fine.


    Siblings have a tendency to want to make you feel like crap, my brother sure did but I am much more successful than him (though our definition of success differ as for him it's being popular and getting girls while for me it's being independent and being able to afford doing the stuffs I like with my own money) and I have a feeling he feels threatens and therefore attempt to make me feel like shit. Sometimes it gets to me (though I live in another country so barely have to deal with his crap anymore) but I then try and remind myself that my brother is no standard to live up to and as long as I am happy/enjoying who I am and what I do, his words should have no effect on me.

    It sucks though to have bad relationship with family so I feel you.


    Hugs to you OP ! (*hug*)
     
  3. tmhjdg

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    As Linning stated, there is nothing inherently wrong with hating a family member. Society has painted a picture of "happy families" where I would wager the majority are dysfunctional in some way. We should "respect our parents," "love our siblings," etc. But realistically this cannot be the case all the time because "bad people" exist.

    You've probably heard it a million times, but just try to be the bigger person. Don't believe what he says. One day you will be able to move on, but focus on improving yourself now in whatever ways are pleasing and productive for you to reach that goal of one day moving out.
     
  4. mychemromance99

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    It's not wrong to hate a member of your family.
    After all we have no say in the people we have as family. As tmhjdg said, most families are slightly dysfunctional. And siblings tend to be real jerks sometimes.
    Ignore him. Sucks but yeah, it's effective.
    Don't let his words affect you, even a bit.
    Hugs.
     
  5. The Falcon

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    My dear, I like to hug you so bad right now! I am going to a similar thing with my sister.

    People can be so hateful and disgusting... I think we are all mad on this planet. I don't know what to tell you. I can tell you one thing, you have every right not to like him. But living with him, you start to believe in his words. Just like my borderline, psychotic, evil, self-absorbed sister. She says the most hurtful things... Just remember that they are normal human beings and being in related to you doesn't change the fact that they might be very very wrong.
     
  6. AlmostBlue

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    That sounds terribly abusive, is there anyone you can talk to frankly outside of family? A counselor, a teacher, or your friends? Don't keep this in and let it consume you. It may be good to talk about this, express your anger, and find ways to deal with him.
     
  7. Euler

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    Well, I understand your hatred and I don't moralize or condemn it. However, ultimately you are just hurting yourself with it. As vague as this is you need to make internal peace with your brother and be indifferent of him. Unfortunately I cannot give you any practical tips on how to achieve this.
     
  8. PatrickUK

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    I'm really sorry that you are having to endure so much, but try, if you can to avoid feelings of hate. I know it's not easy because you are getting so much hate from them, but that's precisely why you should try to avoid returning it. You can certainly pity them for being so narrow and nasty (because something is very wrong when a person is as cold as your brother), but you don't want to get to the same point as them. Hate is a very powerful feeling to hold inside and it can do terrible things to a person, as you have witnessed.

    I know it's not an easy thing to do though. If it gets too much for you and you want some positive reassurance and kindness log in to EC and talk to us. You deserve so much better. (*hug*)