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I don't know what to do about him

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Shadow wolf, Feb 9, 2016.

?

Be friends or not?

Poll closed Feb 19, 2016.
  1. Be his friend again

    1 vote(s)
    33.3%
  2. Leave him

    2 vote(s)
    66.7%
  1. Shadow wolf

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    First post! Yay!(!) Anyways, I have a friend who I am not sure if I want to still be friends with. I kinda think he is gay too, but I don't know at this point. I already told him that I was gay, so I don't know if that means he is straight, but he gives me a weird vibe. Is it possible (common) for gay people to not come out to close friends that they know are gay? Ok, the main issue is that I attempted suicide a few months ago and was hospitalized for a few days. He was the person I called to take me to the hospital (it was an overdose and I thankfully changed my mind mid way through). After that he was super supportive and would let me text him when I needed help, and we were still good friends. A few weeks later I told him that I was gay and that is when our relationship started to deteriorate. I told him over text and he seemed really glad, but he started to distance himself in person. He moved tables in the class we had together, he started to talk to me less, he acted like he didn't want to talk to me when we did talk, and he became mean towards me and only me. I eventually confronted him about what he was doing over text and he came up with 3 different reasons after I called BS on the first one and told him I didn't want to be friends with him after the second one (he said he thought I was insane and couldn't see past my mental illness...). The third reason was because he was having his own issues, so a few days later I said we could take a break, but he insisted not to because he was fine and his "issues" were just everyday things like school, friends and being good to God (he used to not be religous, but that suddenly changed). He feels bad about what he did, but he keeps changing his story about why he did it. I don't think I can trust him anymore because after I came out to him, he started lying to me a lot which is weird because he refused to lie to people if they asked if I was gay or attempted suicide... things that I trusted him to not tell, but he is perfectly fine with lying to me(he never ended up telling anyone. He "compromised" and would just say he didn't know anything instead of denying it). I don't know what is wrong with him, but it seems like there is because none of my other friends have ever acted this way. He doesn't seem homophobic because he is (or was idk at this point) very liberal, posted some gay rights things on social media, told me he had gay uncles (who knows tho. He never tells me the truth), and told me he liked gay people. I have asked some of my other close friends and all the mutual ones say to give him another chance, but everyone who is not his friend says to get rid of him. I have told him that we are not friends for the time being and to ignore me because I cannot focus on our friendship and my illness at the same time. I just do not know if I should try again when I get better or if I should just let go. Like if he were closeted I would totally understand what he is going through (to some extent. I think I would have came out if I had a close friend who was gay, but I do not know), but at the same time I feel like if that is not the case, I don't want to be his friend because what he did was a :***: move and if his has no reason to lie to me as much as he does, I do not want to be friends. So should I try to be friends again, or should I forget about him?

    In regards to my mental health I am doing much better now and feel great, so do not be concerned :slight_smile:
     
  2. Confusedmoose

    Full Member

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    Hey That's great that you are feeling better now :slight_smile:
    I have a really good friend that is bi and I never came out to her until the other day (I've known her for 10 years). There were times that I wanted to, but it's difficult if you haven't accepted who you are. If he is gay but having issues accepting it, he might be distancing himself from you to protect his own image. In terms of staying friends with this guy that is entirely up to you. If you don't feel like you can trust him, maybe the friendship has taken its course.