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my parents and psychiatrist think i need to be "fixed"?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by arieltyler, Feb 10, 2016.

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  1. arieltyler

    arieltyler
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    my psychiatrist told me yesterday that "God made you a girl. you can act and dress like a boy all you want, but you'll always be a girl." I told her and both of my parents to stop invalidating me because I know who I am and it isn't fair. They refuse to call me their son or use male pronouns. they keep telling me that i'm miserable because i'm transgender and i'm making my life more difficult, but i told them that i'm miserable because i have bad depression and most people aren't accepting of me. they found out that i was taking supplements to attempt to increase my testosterone levels naturally. i guess my questions here are: how do i get my parents on board with my transitioning, and how do i find a trans-friendly psychiatrist and psychologist?
     
    #1 arieltyler, Feb 10, 2016
  2. bookreader

    bookreader
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    That psychiatrist should be fired. I wouldn't know how to find a trans-friendly psychiatrist and psychologist. Maybe look around in your area.
     
    #2 bookreader, Feb 10, 2016
  3. Distant Echo

    Distant Echo
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    Do a google for transgender therapist Seattle Washington.....
     
    #3 Distant Echo, Feb 10, 2016
  4. Euler

    Euler
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    Your psychiatrist does not sound particularly professional or competent. First of all, bring God into picture is a huge red flag - especially if it is used to justify something. Second, a well trained mental health professional avoids firm statements like this.
     
    #4 Euler, Feb 12, 2016
  5. Chip

    Chip
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    Pretty sure this is actionable in Washington State. You need another therapist. I would suggest starting with a psychologist who is *not* Christian oriented.

    As to bringing your parents around, you might try finding some articles about Leelah Alcorn, who killed herself because her bigoted parents wouldn't accept her. Show those to your parents -- making it clear that you aren't at risk of suicide -- but make it clear that everyone on the planet except bigoted, ignorant religious crazies, believe that her parents drove her to suicide, and invite them to figure out that their position isn't helpful.

    PFLAG is another great resource. They have materials that can help and you could suggest that you and they go together to a meeting.
     
    #5 Chip, Feb 12, 2016
  6. Foz

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    When a medical professional brings god into their field of work, it just screams unprofessionalism, if they cannot separate their beliefs then they have no place in that job. Therapists in the UK have been struck off for bringing in even non-religious views into sessions with clients, there is no place for it.
     
    #6 Foz, Feb 12, 2016
  7. Jax12

    Jax12
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    Well, my psychologist is a Christian, but she's made it clear she will not go into it unless I bring it up myself, and that I would like to talk about it. My family is Christian, and while my mom did the online research about the "it's a phase" via the bible, my psychologist was super nice and spoke from a neutral perspective like she always does which is awesome.

    OP: You could (probably should) find someone not religion orientated though, would make things easier in the long run. I just wanted to put it out there that there are psychologists that are religious but do not retain the attitude of an anti-gay.
     
    #7 Jax12, Feb 12, 2016
  8. Chip

    Chip
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    Jax makes a good point. When I was saying 'not a Christian therapist' I was referring to the therapist whose practice is 'Christian psychology' ... Which is a thing. A worthless, incompetent, unethical thing that operates in violation of professional and ethical standards, but a thing nonetheless.
     
    #8 Chip, Feb 12, 2016
  9. QueerTransEnby

    QueerTransEnby
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    I am confused about one thing....the poster's location is Virginia according to the profile, so why are we citing Washington law?? I must be missing something or misreading.

    Anyways, there are affirming Christian counselors out there. I highly recommend you look for counselors through your local LGBT center if you can. Often, they will have a list of affirming counselors, and you could ask for one that is Christian if that is your faith background. If not, then disregard that.

    My center has a FtM group that meets quite often. Maybe emotional peer support is needed for you right now? If your parents don't come around(and mine haven't either regarding me being bi), I found it was best to build your self-esteem up first.
     
    #9 QueerTransEnby, Feb 12, 2016
  10. Zuzu

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    You can also go to The Secular Therapist Project to find non-religious therapists. I haven't tried it myself (I haven't had any problems with my therapist), but I've heard good things about it.
     
    #10 Zuzu, Feb 13, 2016
  11. Chip

    Chip
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    I don't think I would choose a therapist on the basis of him or her being secular. What's important, to further clarify, is not the religious background of your therapist, but that the religious background ( or lack thereof) not come into the therapy room. Even if you are a christian and the therapist is atheistic, s/he should be able to nonjudgmentally support you. And the risk of a therapist who advertises as Christian or atheist is that this person may bring those beliefs into the the therapy room... Where they do not belong. In short, a good therapist will never really make clear, at least not until you've been in therapy for quite a while, what his or her beliefs are.
     
    #11 Chip, Feb 13, 2016
  12. Nobo

    Nobo
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    That's not a therapist at all that's a religious fanatic I hate when people shove their religious beliefs down your throat
     
    #12 Nobo, Feb 14, 2016
  13. Zuzu

    Zuzu
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    Just to be clear, secular doesn't mean that the therapist is atheist (although they could be), it just means that they don't bring their religion into the sessions. There are places in the US where religion is part of many therapist's approach and finding someone who doesn't do this takes a bit of work.
     
    #13 Zuzu, Feb 14, 2016
  14. LizSibling13

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    I'm glad my parents is helping Liz (my MtF sister) and they don't mind if I (or our younger brothers) wear dresses... (*hug*)
     
    #14 LizSibling13, Feb 15, 2016
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