Strange "is he gay?" story: Need advice!

Hello everyone. I found this board by accident yesterday when trying to research some way to approach the situation I found myself in recently, and you all seem like good people who can maybe offer me some advice on how to talk to a friend of mine. Before I get into the story here though, some background on me and my friend.

I am 30 years old and bisexual. I am definitely more sexually attracted to guys but can still appreciate women, and it is easier for me to form an emotional connection with girls than guys. Because of this, I avoid relationships like the plague. I am not out for the most part. I've gotten involved with a couple friends before. The first friend and I would mess around while drunk, but we never talked about it sober so it was always this weird unspoken thing. I brought it up eventually and he freaked out. He told everyone I molested him while he was drunk. Long story short, we repaired the friendship and our friends all know that we "experimented" together or whatever. He still claims he was too drunk to ever remember doing anything but whatever. The story is about the same with the next friend I hooked up with, however we were much more open with each other about it. He made it clear though that he wasn't super into it, but would tell me he loved me and that on some level he really wanted to be with me. We ended up living with me and things got too complicated. He stole from me, I kicked him out, and he outed the quasi relationship, putting a negative spin on it all.

My friend is 24. He is a straight guy as far as most anyone knows, but he is kind of awkward with girls. He is a body builder, and at times he used to border on the bro type personality, though he has changed a lot in the time I have known him, especially since an event that will start the story I am about to tell. I haven't known him long. We were co workers. At this point, we've known each other a year and have become really good friends. Now we are roommates. He got fired from my work for anger issues, and he has a very irrational temper. It's never really directed at people, but he is kind of a time bomb that needs to blow up every now and then, and his rants usually involve throwing around the words faggots, queers, fucking homos, etc. All those feel good hits of the summer, y'know? This becomes relevant later on, but I feel it fits best in his character description here. I need to mention that he was really close with all the gay people we work with, and for some reason he has taken a strong liking to me, even though I am not out and don't give off a strong gay vibe or anything. I'm definitely more masculine, but have a fairly androgynous personality if that makes sense. I never talk about sex or comment on people I find attractive. Slowly I am beginning to realize that my friend shares this trait with me. The last thing worth noting is that my friend used to take steroids a few months before I knew him, so he hasn't used them in well over a year.

Now, on to the story.

I never questioned my friend's sexuality (let's call him D from here on out). D would get numbers from girls at work and he seemed smooth enough with women. We began to get close because I wanted to gain weight and get in better shape and he used to be really skinny but is now buff as hell. He wanted to take me under his wing. We'd go to the gym 5 days a week, and slowly became better friends outside of work. He found out I was really into LSD, and that I had some, and he told me he wanted to try it for his first time. I was nervous about him taking it because of some of his emotional issues. Psychedelics can really mess with unstable people. However, I am dumb and weak willed, and my other friends wanted him there for our trip, so D dosed with me and two other co workers.

It started off great. We were outdoors and messing around in some field somewhere acting like big kids. Then we all went back to my house and things got really weird. There is this strange phenomenon that can happen with psychedelics where you can get such a highly attuned sense of empathy that you can virtually become another person when you look at them. It is rare to have an empathetic experience that powerful, but it is possible, and some people are way more prone to those type of experiences than others. I think it is the type of thing where once you experience it, it is easier for your brain to make those kinds of connections, because I tripped hundreds of times without things ever going to that place, however after it happened to me once, it seems like it happens every time I take acid. It happened to both me and D, and I got sucked into his head as he was tripping out on this appreciation he had for his life the way it was currently going. I can't describe in words what happened, but I could literally hear his thoughts and feel everything he was feeling, and I saw myself through his eyes, and I guess he saw himself through my eyes and my perspective. We were both kind of blown away by how powerful it was, and his dumb founded way of asking what just happened was, "Did you just see my life flash before your eyes?"

That was a good way to describe it. And I started to realize that I loved him on some level. More so because he was helping me feel and look better than I ever have, and that when I was inside his head I could feel the genuine place his desire to help me was coming from, and I just knew for sure that he is a very genuine person who I can trust, despite being slightly emotionally unstable and crazy!

When I realized that, things got kind of awkward between me and him. He started getting really agitated and the acid started to turn on him. He ended up having the most hellish trip I have ever witnessed - straight up shit that inspires exorcisms I'm sure. I'm not going into detail about all of that, however a few weird things slipped out through all of his ranting and raving.

At one point, he looked at the girl who was part of our tripping crew, and he has since told me that he had that same seeing through her eyes experience with her as he did with me, and it made him fall in love with her on the spot.

Side note - another weird LSD fact: There is something called a loop you can get stuck on with acid where time keeps repeating itself and you can't stop repeating yourself with it. It has only happened to me once, but I didn't react to it like I have seen others react, so while I can empathize with the experience, I don't fully understand it. What people usually do when they get caught in a loop is repeat the same stupid nonsensical statement over and over again until the loop breaks and they become themselves again. Most people don't remember much about the loop. They describe the experience as if they fell asleep and let their brain go on auto pilot. They experience the world in a very dream like surreal state. For me, when I experienced something close to a loop, it didn't feel like that exactly, but I didn't go nuts like most people do, shouting and screaming nonsense. I just felt like the world was a dream and I was stuck in a scene that kept repeating. Since it didn't make sense and I knew it couldn't be real, I just refused to react to the dream and waited it out.

Back to the story.

D had been caught in a loop, but seeing the girl (call her M) pulled him out of one loop and into another. He started saying, "Oh my God, M! You're the love of my life! We're going to spend the rest of our lives together. I love you!" and he would charge in and grab her and start kissing her and dry humping her and repeating the love stuff. M was actually laughing because things had been really scary for a bit and he was at least back with us to a certain degree, however he is a big guy, and he was getting forceful (though gentle and totally from a place of love) with M. She didn't seem to mind at all though, and later joked that she was going to have me and the other guy leave so she could "fix" D. He would start making out with her, grind on her a bit, then he would get distracted slightly and go back into the end part of his first loop, then he would get stuck back on M and repeat the cycle.

One time, instead of turning to M, he accidentally tried to kiss the other guy in our group, R. He blindly turned to R, and without looking just assumed it was M. R was like, "whoah there buddy, M is over there!"

AND FINALLY THIS LONG WINDED STORY GETS RELEVANT!

D freaks out a bit. He goes, "I'm gay?" Broke him from his loop at least, though just for a moment. I see him start to get visibly anxious, and years of protecting my own sexuality cause me to become protective of what seems like an awkward moment he might later regret. I tell him that he's not gay, and that he doesn't need to worry. He turns to me and looks at me the way he looked at Megan and says, "Oh my God, I get it now. I'm gay. You're the love of my life. We are going to spend the rest of our lives together. I can see it all now." Repeat, repeat, repeat. He tried kissing me once but I brushed him off.

None of the people involved in this trip know anything about my past with my other friends. They have no idea that I am bi. Why D would turn to me and say all those things is beyond me. Part of me thinks he just realized I was bi, and it had no real reflection on his own sexuality. He just saw through my eyes and understood what homosexual feelings could feel like. Part of me feels like the connection I felt to him earlier was real, and that he felt it too, and that something powerful had happened that would always exist between us from that moment onward.

Anyhow, a few other weird things happened. He kept screaming about loving orgasms and being gay and all sorts of other stuff that had nothing to do with any of this. At one point, he ended up ejaculating in his pants. He was stripped down to underwear and I was holding his sweaty body down as all his muscles were tensed up and he almost seemed like he was having a seizure. Randomly he stopped struggling and screaming and said very calmly, "I love orgasms." Next time I looked, there was a big old jizz stain on his pants.

So now I have held his body as he came, he has declared his love for me, and I have felt a deeper emotional and spiritual connection with him than I have ever felt with a person, mainly due to the profound intimacy acid allows for. The problem is, he was blacked out essentially for just about all of this other than that initial moment where we looked at each other and had a connection. It is really strange to have those memories on my end and for him to not have them at all.

M, R, and myself decided not to talk to him about the gay stuff. We talked about the rest though. D and I became really close for a little bit. Then this girls started working with us and D started trying to hook up with her, or so I thought. He invited me over for a party one night and asked me to get a bunch of beer. I get to his house with the beer and it is just him and that girl cuddled up and watching a movie. When I get there, he jumps up and is visibly relieved to have me over as a third wheel. I wanted to bail because first off, I now have feelings for the guy that I want to squash and this girl is making me jealous. Second off, I hate being the third wheel on a date. He doesn't really seem to want me to go though, so I stay. I find out later that even though this girl wanted D's D pretty bad, he never gave it to her and ultimately stopped talking to her in a very strange and abrupt way.

D seems to start getting weirded out by me and begins blowing me off for our gym dates. We stop talking for months, and randomly he comes back into my circle as I move into a new house. He needs a room, I need a roommate, he moves in a few days later. Living together, I am beginning to notice more and more signs that he is gay or bi. He always sits really close to me on the couch, even if there is a lot of room to sit elsewhere. Whenever we make eye contact, he gets this nervous smile that I don't see him get with other people. He is always careful to look at my face rather than checking out my body at all, which is something I tend to do with guys to avoid them thinking I am into them... a natural kind of misdirect I developed over the years. He has had girls over several times, and that is the weirdest part of all. They never talk. He gives me more attention than them when they come over, even sitting close to me with his body turned in my direction as opposed to the girl, who sits on his opposite side. One time, we were playing video games and he said a girl was coming by. She got there and he didn't stop playing Call of Duty with me. He literally ignored this girl for 6 hours while we played Call of Duty until she finally left. It was weird. He kissed her on the cheek at one point, but never actually said a word to her, and when she left he seemed much more relaxed and kind of relieved.

The other factor is his weird, random homophobia. One time he was talking about how his favorite storyline in American Horror Story this last season was the transgender guy's story and he randomly shouted, "I don't know why I like that guy even cuz I hate gay people!" There has never been any indication that he actually hates gays, and he keeps a lot as friends. Other than using fag and gay and queer as insults, he has no real homophobic qualities to him. It seems like he uses those words in the most cliche way of trying to use homophobia to cover homosexual tendencies. He is a really buff guy, and when he goes to the gym he wears small, tight clothes and acts pretty loud. Basically, he draws a lot of attention to himself. If a guy looks at him, he starts freaking out and being like, "I don't get why so many guys look at me. Fucking faggots." But he checks guys out a lot and always talks about how he likes the way they develop this muscle and men's physique this and that and blah blah blah. So it all just seems like he is going through the motions of being straight and is hiding the fact that he likes guys.

Here is my dilemma. I am starting to get really hung up on him. It isn't so much that I want a relationship with him, as his random tempers are a huge turn off. I feel a certain level of responsibility though because I told him he isn't gay when he was going through his acid trip, and maybe that was the wrong thing to say. Maybe it was time to help him come out. I also hate having the memories of that experience and knowing that he supposedly doesn't remember saying he loves me. I think he might remember and might be waiting for me to bring it up. At the same time, his temper scares me a bit and I'm not sure how violently he might resist coming out if I try and force him to. I feel like his temper is caused by suppressing his sexuality, so part of me really wants to help him. It could also be that he is emotionally unstable from past steroid use, and that all of this other shit is a result of a weird drug experience that I am reading too much into.

Does it sound like it is worth talking to my friend, and how should I go about it? Should I just bring it up in terms of myself and ask him if he remembers realizing that I'm into guys while he was on drugs? Maybe the whole thing is simply that: Not a reflection of himself, but an insight he had about myself. Maybe he isn't supposed to come out, but I am supposed to come out to him? I just don't know, and I don't want to risk freaking him out and losing a roommate / friend. I guess it is always a risk in these situations though, but navigating this is driving me crazy. Thanks in advance for any feedback / advice.