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my parents are in denial? ftm

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by arieltyler, Feb 12, 2016.

  1. arieltyler

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2015
    Messages:
    22
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    Location:
    Virginia
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    my grandma's funeral is in a few days so my mom took me to get something nice to wear. she said she wants me to be comfortable so she won't make me wear a dress, but when I asked if I could wear a tie she said no. she said we needed to compromise because SHE needed to feel comfortable. I'm out to some of my extended family so its not like they'd be surprised that I was dressed "like a boy" at the funeral. she eventually let me get a bowtie to wear, but she wasn't happy about it. my dad is a bit more supportive, but nowhere near where I need him to be. they genuinely don't believe I'm transgender because I "didn't act like a boy" when I was younger. and because I'm dealing with mental illness and I have been for a while. my dad believes this is a "crisis" because I was abused when I was younger, but multiple people have told me that being abused doesn't define your gender identity. I just need to know how to get their support and have them call me their son/he/him/my chosen name. please help. they don't really listen to anything I say.
     
  2. resu

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2013
    Messages:
    4,968
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    Location:
    Oklahoma City
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    It's good that you are at least out to your parents, and if they aren't really listening, you need to show them who you are by your own behavior. Because you still are dependent on them, you may have to compromise, but that is just temporary. Keep reaching out to friends/family who fully support you. In a year, you will be an adult and in more control of your life, maybe even going to college.