I've mentioned about my "bro-crush" Travis here a bit and it's hard to let go that I'm not seeing him again. I didn't do anything to piss him off directly. He never said don't talk to him again nor was there any burnt bridge. It's a complicated issue. Basically, he's just in his own world of hard drugs(cocaine) and surrounds himself with that and other people I don't like. I can't communicate with him. I've tried to text and call him with no success. I've learned all that shit from our mutual friend Robby(he's currently in USAF basic training). He told me all that news before he went to basic training. He went to the same college as us but he withdrew due to low grades. I'm bi/bi curious but I had a strong attraction to Travis. Why? White youngish looking He and I dealt with substance issues We made a "promise" to look out for each other/talk to one another if shit ever got to us(if he or I were struggling back to our original drug of choice, etc). He and I were affectionate towards each other(I described this already in other posts). I felt platonic/sexual/brief romantic feelings towards Travis. If I had sex with him, I would have no issues. There was some sexual tension somewhere there in between us, but it was thinly veiled I felt. I felt jealously when a bi guy by the name of Kaleb(he's near my age) had been spending a lot more time with Travis and chilled at his room at night a lot.And I theorized that Kaleb and Travis may have had a sexual relationship(discrete). And also Kaleb was a bit more affectionate towards Travis than me at times, I felt he was a threat to me at times. The strongest affectionate gesture I ever did to Travis, was late April 2015. I held him and hugged him. I told him I loved him, I brushed/ran my hand across his dirty blonde hair and petted him. And I felt good when I did that. I'm sure he did as well. The whole gesture I still look back because it was so powerful for me. If he and I had sex that night, it would have been perfect. But we didn't. But since he and I arent't communicating despite no conflict that was generated, I feel some depression over losing him. I love Travis still but it's hard to get over him and find a replacement "bro crush.":tears::tears:
The only answer that works is time. You just have to give it time. Take your mind off of him. Find someone else. Don't revolve your life around this guy.
