Unrequited feelings bestfriend situation

I feel your pain. I have a crush on one of my best friends, I don't know if he is gay though and we live very far apart which is tough.

My advice is to try to avoid thinking about the situation, but getting screenshots of texts is tough from the other girl. What if you told her talking about her going on dates makes you upset because you are single but tell her you still support her and the other girl even if you don't. That might be shitty advice but it is what I would probably do.

 

Damn, do I feel ya. You're in a real toughie here, but don't worry, you'll make it through. I can tell ya from experience. I had an intense friendship with someone when times got rocky for me, and she supported me through everything. I ended up developing some mad feelings for her that weren't returned, and that tore me up real good. But I supported her through my feelings, rooted her relationship on, and to this day we're still friends. So, I can give ya advice based on did and didn't work for me, but keep in mind, everyone deals with feelings differently.

The first thing I wanna get across: if you wanna continue being friends, DON'T GHOST HER. It might seem like a good idea to take an extended break for yourself, and not burden her with ya feelings. But by creating distance without communication, all that cooks up is a huge rift between you and her. If you think ya need some time for yourself, being honest is the best thing ya can do. Tell her ya still have feelings for her and need some time to get over them, a small break to focus on finals might be a good idea, but anything long term is a no-go in my book, even if you communicated to her your reasons why. Feelings can be a capital B to get over, especially if it's ya first love. So, unless ya plan on hidin' out for as long as your feelings persist, I advise ya not to take up a 'friendship break' as your long term solution.

I'd say, and this is just my personal philosophy, the best thing to do to keep you guys close is to be up-front and honest. If ya keep things bottled up all your feelings become weights and your jealousy and hurt can turn to resentment. So lay everything out to ya friend if you can. Tell her you're not over her if ya didn't, because she might have assumed you moved on a long time ago. If she's a good friend she'll dial back on her talk about the girl she's dating, and be more attentive to your feelings. But if she's the more oblivious type, ya gotta whack her with the point, and ask her straight up if she can be a little more sensitive towards your feelings. In turn, even if it hurts, the best thing you can do is support her dating even if it's at arms length. Meet the new girl if ya have to, just keep it polite and brief, and then go off and do your thing. Like I said, if ya friend is a good friend, she'll respect your feelings and appreciate you putting ya feelings aside for her sake.

Sometimes love is about making sacrifices, and even though it sucks, in the long run, if your friend true, she'll treasure your guyses friendship. Who knows what the future holds, so keep ya head up, stay honest, and don't bottle things up. Honesty is the best policy, and time heals all wounds.

Good luck.

 

I feel you. I've been in a mix of this of my own. It's hard to be the good supportive friend when you get texts about some other girl she's with, I've been there too. It hurts. Because you care for them and have feelings for them but yet want them to be happy so you try to support them with their current relationship/dating. Which makes it all hurt worse.

But I've also been kinda the opposite end of this. Where I was the friend sending the screenshots texts of a girl (whom I'd just met) I liked to friend (who was a recent ex of sorts, it's complicated...). And I know it sounds totally ridiculous to send and talk to a ex about this new girl I liked, but I did so because my ex was very close to me and was my best friend. I wanted to share my new excitement with her and get advice from her cuz she knows me best. But wasn't realizing how much it might be hurting her. Although I should have because I'd been in her shoes before. But she never told me it hurt her. I would have tried a little harder not to if I'd of known.

I'd say the same as everyone else. To be honest with her. Tell her how its making you feel. But also keep in mind that the reason she's probably sharing this with you is because you're a close friend of her's and wants to share this exciting part of her life with you and wants you to say your happy for her. And she may not be realizing that it's hard for you. Just don't lose her as a friend over it. Who know's maybe one day this new girl will disappear and your friend will return the feelings you have for her . Anyway, take it a little at a time. Slowly bring it up somehow, don't ask for her to stop talking about this new girl all together, maybe no more screenshots, no more play-by-play on dates, but a chat every now and then is ok, etc. Something like that.

Good Luck.