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Is my wife's brother bisexual?! I'm bi!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by raubenhugel, Feb 17, 2016.

  1. raubenhugel

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    My wifes brother (I'm bi and not out) is very touchy/feely with me and always has a squeeze of my leg now and again when in his company. He will also occasionally touch and squeeze my waist now and again when he’s brushing past etc. It’s not all the time just now and again. He has also come right up behind me on one occasion. However he has now sent me an image on snapchat whilst siting on the toilet showing everything completely naked, but with his hand over his parts and other snapshats are sometimes of him topless. I did reply with the toilet snapshat of exactly the same to test his respone and he replayed it and took a screen shot and said it was for his wank bank. Is this normal behaviour? Am I reading into it too much? Could my wifes brother be Bi and have a crush on me? He has a lot of dates with girls but has never had a proper relationship with a girl, but does use dating apps to meet girls and is very much into girls. He has also asked me that he wants to start going running with me each week, which I do run a lot. Is this an excuse for him to spend some time with me? To be fair he is pretty cute and I do have a crush on him. Whats your thoughts? I'm confused!
     
    #1 raubenhugel, Feb 17, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2016
  2. Euler

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    How is your relationship to him otherwise? How old are you guys?

    To me that does not sound normal. I mean close friends could do something like that. Some people touch other people more than others. I got a friend who I don't see that often and sometimes he might randomly touch my stomach which is pretty weird. But he is married and has 3 kids and since we are not particularly close I don't think there is any chance his actions would be anything other except part of his personality.
     
  3. raubenhugel

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    Well I wouldn't say we are close friends. We don't socialise together and we are only together in the presence of my wife when visiting her family. He does pop over to us every other week for food as he lives alone and we do pop in his occasionally but during these brief visits, more often than not he's touchy feely with me. We probs only see each other like 4/5hrs a week.

    Recently we have been chatting a lot on whatsapp, just general chat. It's been increasing the last few months. In fact we speak more on text and whatsapp than he does with his sister, my wife. I was ill a few weeks ago and he would ask how I'm feeling. We got back from a 4 week holiday and he asked me how the jet lag was and how was first day back at work. He didn't even ask his sister. Little things like these that play on my mind.

    He will comment if I smell good or look good. Or if I'm wearing something new. He passed a jokey comment like 'suck my ****' the other day which was random, in response to something I said which he didn't quiet agree with when suggesting ideas when he was decorating.

    I've tried watching him around other people when he's been around his mates and I haven't noticed him being touchy feely with them, as far as I've noticed.

    He's also touched my crotch once very briefly with his finger when poking me to say something. This has only happened once. On another occasions, poked my crotch with his toe when wanted to get my attention. Only once when his feet was up on the sofa next to me.

    I am 30 and he is 27.
     
  4. Really

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    I think whether he's gay or bi or whatever, you're married and he's your wife's brother!

    Have you told your wife about his behaviour towards you? If not, why not?

    Even if you're in an open marriage, do you really want to get involved with your brother-in-law?

    You should step back and try to think about this without considering your feelings. If your wife doesn't know anything about this, if you involve her brother, it's not likely to go very well at all.

    Plus, he is overstepping because you're married and disrespecting his sister in the process.
     
  5. RavenTheRat

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    I agree with Really. It doesn't matter if he has feelings for you or not. You are married, and you need to think about what that marriage means to you.
     
  6. Euler

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    Yeah, I would like to hear your wife's take on this too. After all, she should know his brother best.

    BTW, do you live in Worcester, MA? I've been there once. A friend of mine studied there. There is an epic toilet museum.
     
  7. Distant Echo

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    You need to decide what your feelings are for your wife. Would you be willing to cheat on her with her brother. Would you be willing to leave her for her brother.
    are you willing to risk losing her?
    If the answer to any of these is no, then you need to walk away from her brother.
     
  8. FalconBlueSky00

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    Wow, if he shows his wank bank pic to your wife and she's not cool with it you will not be happy. I usually hesitate at using the word should, as it implies wrong doing, but in this case you should talk to your wife if you want to keep your relationship.