Looking for a bit of advice

What is the source of this anxiety, specifically? I feel like this is a question you should ask yourself to better understand your own anxiety. Could it be because of meeting someone new? Could it be because of meeting someone online? Is it a "first-date anxiety" sort of situation? Do you trust this person you're meeting? There are many different reasons and to each its own approach. However, I would advise you to only venture to meet someone when you feel you're ready and comfortable with the idea. If you feel that your anxiety is getting a bit out of hand, there's no harm in expressing this to the person you're meeting with as well as potentially postponing the meet-up.

If you're sure about meeting this person and you still get anxiety as the day nears, I suggest distracting your mind away from the date of the meet-up as that could encourage more anxiety. Whenever you think of the date, try to think of it from a positive point of view. "It'll be a fun experience meeting up with him." "Who knows where it would lead?"

 

Hey, so I completely agree with the first comment made. But have you ever considered actually telling him that your nervous? That way when you do meet he'll understand you better and you won't have to put much of a facade on. To be honest the chances are he's probably feeling a similar emotion.

As for the dating app, I think it's a good thing. Yes there is something superficial about it, however if you were to think about it, when you talk their not seeing your face. They probably have one or two pictures to put a face to a name, but the rest is all personality. Personally I've never tried it, but like you I'm very introverted so when it comes to putting myself out there I do struggle.

I hope everything goes okay, good luck.

 

If this is how you genuinely feel about it, I believe so, yes. It helps for people who worry a lot to remind themselves before venturing into a new experience (such as dating) that this first experience is one of potentially many and therefore shouldn't have any implications on future experiences should it go in an unfavourable direction. This is reassuring because you realise you have nothing to lose in trying because the next time you experience it it might have a different outcome.

In short, just follow your heart. I know this can be difficult, especially when anxiety is involved, but give yourself the time relax/de-stress yourself and then evaluate how you truly feel about it. There's no rush. Dating should be a fun, pleasant experience of meeting someone new. I wish you all the best

 

Okay, wait... let's first get things straightened out, here.

First off: all apps are not created equal. It's not just different collections of people looking for the same thing. In fact, depending on the app, people might be looking for ENTIRELY DIFFERENT things!

For starters, there is already a big difference between:
a) Dating apps, where you find people to hang out with, date at a somewhat leisurely pace, and eventually decide on whether you want to try a relationship

b) Hookup apps. Which is where you find people who are interested in a night of fun (or a couple of nights of fun), without much expectation of exclusivity.
And yes, with fun I mean sex, not boardgames


Of course, people have found long-term love on a hookup app. And some people get laid on first date from a dating app. But... the one you describe is generally known to be more on the "hookup" side of things. If it appears like a bit of a meat market, that might just be what it's going for.



Secondly: yes, it's stressful meeting strangers you originally met on the internet.

Now, I'm not going to be all doom and gloom about it. I met both my best friend and my boyfriend off the internet. And some people I met in real life turned out to be creeps or jerks later.

But... since people can easily lie on the internet, it's generally assumed to be best to have your first meetup be in a public place, for a limited time, with a very clear goal in mind.
So, for example: meet for coffee, from 4 to 6 PM on a specific day, just to chat and get to know each other.
Or meeting at 7PM for a movie.
Or... the possibilities are endless. But the common thread is: have a plan, have a day and hour, don't go to people's homes before being comfortable with in public.


I'm usually quite stressed myself, and I have learned (the hard way) that I need to have a plan. Just "hoping for the best" is nice, but especially for the first meetup with a new person, you need to be prepared.



So... tell us a bit more about this guy. When and where are you meeting? Is there a plan for what you'll be doing on that meeting? How will you get there and back? Is this his first time meeting someone too?

 

Yeah, I'm like that too. I'm not really interested in intimate stuff until I get to know someone well. Nothing wrong with that, if you know ahead of time!

And, while it might not have been entirely what you wanted as a first experience, it's a bit of an uncomfortable fumbling for many people. Above all: focus on the positives! You know better what you want, now!