So I'm not sure what exactly is wrong. I just feel horrible. It happens every now and then where the littlest thing can set me off, and all of the sudden this slew of everything that has ever hurt me comes in waves. Today I was getting vertigo from it all. I just can't stand that I have no one to talk to about this issues I have. It is 100% my fault because I refuse to do so. I couldn't even talk to a therapist about it all (not for lack of trying), and this has created a real rift between me and the people I am supposed to go to. I start to resent them. Especially my parents because they are the worst to go to for emotional support. I don't know what to do. It seems like every time I try to talk to someone about any issues I have they just let me down, and I can't handle that again. I am so scared to get help because I have been burned too many times. And I hate saying that because it sounds like some stupid fucking line from a bad teen novel or something. I am not that person who hates and distrusts everyone because people suck and the world is hell. But at the same time I cannot bring myself to open up to people. It is starting to take a toll on me and I don't know what to do anymore. My relationship with my parents has crumbled; I resent them and don't want to. I don't have any super close friends because I won't let them get that close. I can't even tell a therapist that I am sad. I don't know if it is pride, or just stupidity. I have no idea what to do anymore, but I just feel so isolated all the time.
