Hi I'm new here. I found this place after a Google search as contacting local and national LGBT groups wasn't really helping. Hoping I fit in here. I'm Bi but with a preference to men, although these days I'm starting to think it's just because I haven't had positive experiences with women. It's just 'easier' to date men as I know what to expect and to be honest I don't have too muh trouble attracting male attention but women never approach me and I've been to shy to instigate anything because I'm usually not sure of their sexual orientation As my user name suggests, I'm shy to make the first move but then open up and show my true personality once someone has broken the ice. I came out as Bi aged 14 or 15 at high school but didn't really know anyone else there was just a few girls who'd have a drunken fumble but that was it. My mum thought it was jut a fashionable phase and brushes it off as a joke. Fast forward and I'm turning 30, Ive been married for 9years (filed my decree nisi) and have 3 gorgeous children so most people I have now don't know and I think it puts women off approaching me??? Does this sound right??? I'm quite girly and I prefer girly but I do have a sweet spot for slightly more tom boy with a pixie cut and eyes and a smile to die for. One of my friends who knows says that a guy they knew had to change his appearance to attract the kind of fellas he fancied, that's not really something I want to do because I am who I am. All my long term relationships have been with men but I joined ****** a few days ago (yea it's rubbish lol!) and very few women have matched with me and when they have I've made the first move (knowing women don't like to chase usually lol) just with a polite "hi how are you, how's your day?" and haven't received a single reply! I really don't know where to go from here. I'm not desperate to be in a relationship, I can manage on my own, but it would be nice to click with someone special and I feel I'm missing out on opportunities. Any and all advice welcome. Sorry posts so big just getting it all off my chest! :roflmao:
Hello and welcome to EC! I found this place via Google, too. Although I don´t have hands-on experience with the LGBT community, based on my experience here I can tell that (most) gay women will not dismiss you just because of your heterosexual past, the fact that you are bi, your kids or your femininity (that last one is actually a desired quality for quite a few of them). BUT, gay women will probably have a hard time approaching you in a romantic way unless they have a hint that you might be interested in them or at least that you wouldn´t be offended/judgemental if they did so. Of course, I am not encouraging you to change your appearance (which is part of yourself) just to be more visible to LGBT people, but you could indicate in subtle ways that you are open to them approaching you. Subtle flirting, touching, eye contact (and of course verbal confirmation) are considered good indicators. Alternatively you could try some LGBT colored jewellery or other accessories. As to where to meet women... I´m afraid I can be of no help. I have yet to meet one in real life... *sigh*
I agree with idsm. It's not uncommon for lesbians, bisexual women to have had previous heterosexual relationship or even to have been married before getting out of the closet and to have had children from those relationship, so I highly doubt your background (though some women are biphobic) will refrain you from meeting women. Not the right kind at least. If you are a femme and a mum though, it is likely that people will assume you are straight, so being visible and active in the LGBT community would be a great plus. Maybe look for gay bars in your area ? Or any other kind of LGBT meeting group or association ? Or even go to a gay pride event. All those are great ways to meet other LGBT people in your area. Hope it helps. Cheers x
Thanks guys. I suppose rainbow accessories may be the way to go. Im not sure where our local gay bar is. There used to be one but i think it got shut down.
Welcome, ive been looking for rainbow accessories myself. Been having a hard time finding any now that I'm looking. LOL
