I'm 15, 16 this July. She's 12, 13 this April. We've both come out as lesbian. We both have loads in common, and she's super nice and supportive of my situation. She would be my ideal girl, if only she was a bit older. I think she's interested in me romantically, but I'm not sure if I should offer her anything more in return? I'm just worried things might get complicated, if it's inappropriate, or if I turn her down I might regret it. 12 seems quite young, even if she does seem mature. Mostly I just feel guilty. Have I led her on? Aren't I supposed to be the mature one?
No, It's too young and depending on where you are, can get you in legal trouble. It's a huge age difference at that age.
I honestly wouldn't recommend it. I don't mean to sound rude or anything, as I don't know too much about your situation, but you need to think that by the time you're 18 she will only be 15. I feel like this would make things very awkward and off putting for some people up until you're 21 and she's 18. I can't say for your situation in particular, but I just can't imagine a relationship like this going very well. Sorry if I seemed overly judgemental or anything, I'm not making any assumptions about you or your situation, but I feel like an age gap like this would be unhealthy for quite a while.
This is a huge age gap at the developmental stage you both are in, and it's honestly not a good idea to pursue it. Regardless of whether she reciprocates, it'll land you in a huge amount of legal trouble if either of you wanted to be open or were caught doing couple things. I know this likely isn't the response you wanted, but put it out of your mind for now. If you really do love her and she loves you, you can explore these feelings when you're both no longer minors.
No, I knew all this. I just don't think she'd still want to be friends if I turned her down so I'm clutching at straws. I don't think I'd be comfortable being with someone that much younger, even if she is probably as mature as me, and I don't have a lot of friends so I'm just going to have to cope and hope things don't turn out too ugly. Thank you anyway, for bringing me out of self denial :-/
If youre both under 18, 3 years difference is the line for me. As long as it doesnt get out of hand I think you should be fine. I do think she's too young for anything sexual if you know what I mean. I think you should just wait it out and keep it a simple relationship for now
Er, I don't know if I agree. At 12 the age difference is about the same if it would be a 30 year old dating a 15 year old. The OP should probably just stay away to avoid legal problems, or wait it out in the case.
keep it a secret and its cool. if you look at humanity people get away with all kinds of crazy crap, so dating a girl 3 years younger than you shouldn't be on a "not to do" list
I don't know how to feel about this. It's not a question of whether or not you have legitimate feelings for eachother. I know that if I had dated a 15 year old when I was twelve I would honestly not have cared. I would have found it a little exciting really. As an 18 year old, I would not feel entirely comfortable dating a 15 year old. One because I'm legally an adult and I could end up being charged with statutory rape if anything happened. But also, it wouldn't feel right... However. Think legally here. At least in my state, Texas. Relations between minors is okay with parent consent (like that would ever happen) but if there is consent, a three year age difference is permitted. Any more than that and it is illegal. 12 is young. I would not suggest perusing anything. When you are 18 and (probably) about to graduate highschool and go off to college, she'll be your age. While you will possibly be at college meeting people, maybe falling for another girl. It's not really fair for anybody. You would likely feel tied down, and cheating is wrong. In my opinion, I feel friendship/confedant is more than acceptable. But romantically, I would advise against it.
I consider myself a very liberal leaning parent... i talk with my kids and allow my kids to do things most parents wouldn't.... however if my 12 year old came home saying they were dating someone almost 16 I would come unglued. There is such a developmental difference no matter how mature the 12 year old is. Heck my preteen and teen are more mature than most adults it doesn't mean they are ready for a romantic relationship with one. I am all for them exploring who they are and how romantic relationships work but it needs to be age appropriate. I would recommend considering her feelings and explain what her friendship means to you... and why you value it enough not to change it. If she is as mature as you think she is she will understand.
I wouldn't go through with it. I am not judging you in any way, but you asked for our opinion so I'll give mine to you. A 12 year old and a 15 year old have huge development gaps. I know there are many people that will say that age doesn't matter but the fact is that age does, and always will, matter. Even though 12 and 15 doesn't seem like too big of a gap it definitely is. I don't have any kids but if I did have one I sure wouldn't let him/her date a 15 year old. Also, not to mention, it is very illegal, at least in the U.S. You can still be friends with her but the relationship should be kept strictly platonic until you're both old enough and mature enough for something further.
