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Is this the beginnings of a relationship?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Erzulie, Feb 26, 2016.

  1. Erzulie

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    Let me preface this by saying that I've never been in a real committed relationship before. I've only ever been on a few dates. (I know, I'm super late in the game at age 25)

    I've had a crush on this girl from work for a while. I didn't confirm she was gay until a few weeks ago, although I had my suspicions. I met her a few months ago when I started doing over-hire for the company she works for. The day I found out she was gay a bunch of us went out for drinks, and she gave me her number so we could figure out plans. This was the first time we'd seen each other outside of work. Since that day, we haven't gone a day without texting each other after work. We don't act any differently at work. For me it's because the people at work gossip a lot, and I work with my best friend who I'm still not out to. But this girl is the only person I've been able to have a more than 10 or 15 text long conversation with. (I'm terrible keeping a conversation through text) Do normal people do this with friends they just met a few months ago? Is this the beginnings of a relationship? How do I know? How do I proceed? Am I supposed to like ask her out or something? I think she likes me like that, but I can never be sure! Help!!

    On a side note, I'm probably going to use her as a segue to come out to my best friend! I hope that goes well. :/
     
    #1 Erzulie, Feb 26, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2016
  2. Erzulie

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    Update: I think she just asked me out on a date. We're going to get Ethiopian food next weekend. I don't know how to start a relationship. This is all very confusing. And my depression-brain just keeps telling me that she doesn't like me like that.
     
    #2 Erzulie, Feb 26, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2016
  3. confusedbubble

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    Yay nice one, sounds like you've snagged yourself a date, keep it cool keep the chat going, maybe off to buy her drinks usually if the person does the inviting is sometimes is the one that initiates the relationship.
    Play it cool dress up a bit but wear something you'll be comfortable in, maybe open doors for her, take money with you you could offer to go Dutch with the bill and relax.
    Are you out at work or to her, is she out to you or anyone at work
     
  4. Erzulie

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    She's out at work but I'm not. I'm only out to one person who now lives really far away from me.
     
  5. AlmostBlue

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    It's hard to tell from what you've described if this is a date, especially since I assume you haven't come out to her? It's hard to expect someone to ask you out on a date if you at least don't make your sexuality clear. She may be trying to suss things out by asking you to dinner, so I suggest you make it clear for both of you by telling her that I hope this is a date. You could even do this over text, or during dinner?
     
  6. confusedbubble

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    As almost blue said you could tell her your sexuality either before via messaging or during the meal. I hope it is a date it sounds like one. It does sound like she's definitely interested in you more than friends