So I made a bold move and told my straight friend that I liked him after we got back from the school football game (We're both at the same university), he said that was flattered and appreciated me being honest. Anyway, ever since I have told him, things haven't really been odd between us. He has a girlfriend, but never talks about her around me, or never really introduced me to her. I always get this flirtatious vibe from him. We have a group message with us and our friends and he is always the first one to respond to my message, and he always uses emojis when responding to me. When we're together, we always sit close to each other and joke around, we just get along so well. I'm trying to accept the fact that he is straight, but part of me thinks he has some interests in men. I think he is afraid of what his very conservative mother would think. How do I convince myself that I am overthinking our friendship?
That is a hard question to answer. It's difficult to convince yourself of anything without hard proof and that is something you don't have. Do you ever try to start up a conversation with him about his girlfriend? Maybe he doesn't mention her because he thinks it makes you uncomfortable. Did you suggest inviting her along to any social event/situation? The problem here is that just because he might not be that much into his girlfriend, it doesn't mean that the alternative is being interested in you. She just might nit be the right girl. Some straight guys really appreciate the attention and flirting from a gay friend as it is a safe way to boost their ego without much risk to themselves. At some stage we are all responsible for encouraging attention from someone that we're not that much in to because it makes us feel good about itself, however selfish it can be. He knows you like him, he knows you're gay and you don't know the same of him. If he is in the conservative closet then having a friend to mess around with without jeopardizing his straight cover will suite him well but it could devastate you. If he is secretly attracted to you then great but you need to make sure that he is committed to that before you take this any further and end up getting hurt. Ultimately the only way to know is to ask him if he likes you but be careful if he says no, not to push it any further because it could be that you end up loosing a good friend in the pursuit of something Tha wasn't ever there. Hope you get your answer soon
In my opinion you should not try to ask him again if he is gay. It's merely annoying. This whole thing is just in your mind as you wish he was interested in you and you are just seeking confirmation that this is indeed the case. Your friend is interested in you BUT NOT in any sexual or romantic way. You can be interested in someone as a friend too. I'm sure you have friends who you are into but have no sexual or romantic interest in them be they men or women.
Thanks for the advice. As for him thinking his girlfriend might make me uncomfortable, he hasn't introduced me to her officially even before he knew I was gay and that I liked him. Every once in awhile, she would come to events with him, but he always spent more time talking to me instead of his girlfriend at these events. ---------- Post added 27th Feb 2016 at 10:19 AM ---------- I understand what you mean, and it's your logic that I am trying to have. Thanks for the advice!
Yeah, you're overthinking this. Your friend is the same guy you met. Your mind is overanalyzing every move he makes.
