I'm 38, and I've never fallen in love before. I'm assuming that most people fall in love at least once in their lifetimes. I never did, and I can't understand why. I had a lot of sex in my 20s and early 30s, and zero relationships. There were times I had sex because I was genuinely horny, other times because I was seeking external validation. Although I was always safe, I'm assuming I caused some kind of emotional abuse to myself even though most of my peers said my behavior was normal. I received A LOT of negative energy in this lifetime due to my sexuality and as I'm sure you understand, it made me feel horrible. I carry this ball of pain with me practically every day. So I'm trying to figure this out. Is the reason I've never fallen in love other people's fault? Or is it me and my head?
