My friend thinks she is in love with me... Over the last few months I have been going to a LGBT youth group and I have met some really nice and interesting people. I first met Abi (this is not her real name) about a month and a bit ago and we started to become friends. Abi is a trans woman (male to female) however she has not transitioned yet and is still stuck in a male body. It is extremely frustrating for her and her self esteem is pretty low unfortunately. However Abi is a lovely person and we have a lot in common. We have been on shopping trips together, had coffee and generally do what friends do however recently she confessed to me that she had a crush on me via social media. At first I felt really REALLY panicky, I started shaking and nearly had some sort of panic attack (though not an extreme one)??? It generally made me feel physically ill (is this normal to react this way?) I always have this rather extreme reaction when a guy asks me out but I thought this would be different because Abi is still technically a woman even though she hasn't transitioned yet. God I feel guilty. :icon_sad: Is this normal? I told Abi that I couldn't be in a relationship at the moment because I have a lot going through my head and that the relationship wouldn't work out (due to fact that I am going to Uni soon and she is younger than me). I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because I am a raging lesbian (even though she knows I am a lesbian :bang: ) and that I just couldn't do this relationship because it is so damn confusing and is very complex for obvious reasons, I also just don't fancy her in that way. I have tried to tell her this in a kind way but I feel as if it is not coming across in the right way and I feel so guilty now. :tears: I have, however, made it obvious to her that I cannot go into a relationship right now and she is now very upset, she has expressed to me that I am her first 'heart break' and that she feels disgusting in her own body. I tried to comfort her by saying that she is being too intense and that she needs to chill out (we have only known each other for a month and this is CERTAINLY NOT LOVE). I told her that everything is going to turn out fine and that she is making really good progress for someone her age. This all happened a few weekends ago (on valentine's day ironically...) I feel so guilty and horrible, but I just couldn't go into a relationship with her :tears: Also to make matters worse, there is a overnight trip happening soon with this youth group and me and Abi agreed to share a room (I agreed to this before she confessed she liked me). WHAT DO I DO????!!! I feel too awkward just me and her in a room after everything that has happened and I want some distance (I am a horrible person I know). I am planning to get in contact with one of the youth workers and ask for advice on this in private but everything just feels messy Any advice or reassurance would be greatly appreciated thanks.
