Hi everyone I have been dealing with an issue with a friend of mine, or at least the person who I think is my friend, and Im trying to figure out what is the best way to approach it. Here is the full story: I have met a guy in my class about 4 months ago. Instantly, I was attracted to him. He also started talking to me during the class about what I though of the class. Next couple of classes, we did not talk that much but I was able to catch him staring at me. Then, I asked him if I can borrow his notes, and then he gave me hints, and we ended up studying together. Before I check him on facebook, I felt that he is most likely gay, because of the way he acted with me and I felt like he is attracted to me. Later when I checked, I saw that he, in fact, is gay. We studied together and passed the class, without anything specific happening during that time. Then, after the class ended, I started going to his gym, and we started working out together. More and more, I felt like he is pulling away from me, but not really sure why. He also has never asked me if I am gay or bisexual, or even if I have a girl/boyfriend. Over the past couple of days, I feel like he barely wants to talk to me anymore. I have asked him if everything is alright, and he had an excuse every time. I am very attracted to him, and want to be his close friend, and maybe even more. However, I dont want to stress myself out over something that would not lead to anything. How can test to see if he is attracted to me? How should I approach it? I appreciate any suggestion.
You can't really test this. One thing is sure though, don't push yourself to him. If he seems to be taking space let him take space. You haven't known for long or you are not even very close. There is literally nothing in what you said that would suggest that. What makes you think he is attracted to you? How old are you and have you been in a relationship before
Thanks for your reply. What makes me feel he is attracted to me is how he usually looks at me, and the way he treats me, which initially made me feel he is gay before I actually checked his facebook. I have never been with another guy before, so it is hard for me to figure out what the signs of attraction are by a guy. One major issue is that he does not know I am gay, but he has also never asked and I am not sure how to tell him about it. Also, it is a little difficult to figure out that I am gay based on my behavior, probably because I have mostly been friends with straight people. I am also 21.
Are you still studying together... working out together? What are the excuses that he is coming up with? It's entirely possible that he is trying to work out how you feel, in the same way as you are trying to work out how he feels. He may suspect that you are gay or bisexual, but it might be difficult for him to know how to ask. If he is attracted to you, but he is not getting the right vibes back he might be worried about letting go of his feelings. If you get chance, ask him about relationships in a fairly casual way. What does he look for in a person? Is he interested in dating now? If he tells you that he is into guys that should be the cue for you to tell him that you are too? Open up the conversation and see where it goes rather than continuing this stalemate.
