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Not sure if I should tell him or not...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by bk3man, Mar 5, 2016.

  1. bk3man

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    So I've posted about this a while back, but I don't think I explained it very well, so I thought I post about it again in better detail to try to get more perspectives on it. I have a close friend, let's call him James. James and I are very close friends. We both work together, hang out quite a bit, text eachother often, etc. We're both important parts of each others lives. But the past few months I've realized something; I have feelings for him. But part of me thinks he feels the same way about me as well. Everytime we work together he touches me non stop, he grabs my nipples, he pokes my butt with produce, he's stuck his hand down my pants when I've bent down, he's just always touching me. He's showed me his penis before saying "I got a Mohawk down there wanna see it??". Another thing is that we argue a lot, and I think part of it is because we're both hiding how we feel, like we'll get mad at eachother I wanna say twice a week or over something stupid, swear at eachother, blow each others phones up, and then make up before the night is over. Because we're always together at work and outside of work, people make up jokes saying we're like a gay couple, but he never gets offended or tries to show he's straight whenever we get told that. He technically has a girlfriend, but their relationship is super weird. It's the only girlfriend he's had in his life, and they don't even act that close. He treats her like Complete crap whenever they're around me. So I feel like maybe he just uses her to show he's not into dudes, because all of his friends are popular douche bags who call gay people fags and stuff, but he's not like that, he has gay family members and a couple gay friends. The other day him and I stayed at hotel together to get drunk (two separate beds); and we ended up going into the hot tub together, and it just made me think how strong my feelings are for him. I don't know whether to tell him or not, I don't wanna be wrong about him maybe feeling the same, because I don't wanna lose him. But part of me feels like I have to tell him, because holding it in makes me so depressed and down on myself.
     
  2. bookreader

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    Either he's a really straight guy who likes to play around or he really likes you. If he does, then he should break it off with this girl. She doesn't deserve to be treated like this. He needs to be alone and think about who he wants. I'm pretty sure you hate being led on.
     
  3. RocketRacoon

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    Does he know your orientation? If he doesn't, telling him could help because if he does like you he might feel obligated to say so.
     
  4. bk3man

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    No he doesn't know, but like I said, he hangs out with that popular homophobic crowd, so I feel like if I'm wrong he won't wanna talk to me anymore. And yeah he treats his girlfriend like crap, we were going to some bars in Canada the other day and she was there so the 3 of us stopped at a Wendy's that was near the bars, and he started being rude to her so she threatened to leave a walk to a bar by herself and he said "bye" and she walked out alone, and he just stayed talking to me like everything was fine
     
  5. bookreader

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    She shouldn't be treated like that. You should talk to the girl and talk from her perspective.
     
  6. bk3man

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    Idk, I feel like it's none of my business how their relationship is. Plus if she ever found out how I feel about him, it would just make everything awkward
     
  7. bookreader

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    Just tell her that you don't think she should be treated like crap.
     
  8. DemiLiHue

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    Pretty sure he's gay