I made an account just to seek help with this dilemma I have. So, Im gay, partially out, at 20 years of age I'm still single and never had a relationship before. I have this awful habit of avoiding eye contacts and feign uninterested when it comes to guys Im attracted to. So theres this guy. We're in the same college. My gaydar is very weak, but Im about 80% sure that he likes guys too. He's really cute and has great taste. And he's my junior, even though we're the same age. I was open minded and friendly at first; we meet in halls and greet and smile at each other and it was all very civil. But lately I avoided his eye contact and am too shy to strike up a conversation. And I know Im sending him confusing mixed signals but I can't help it. And I want to get him before its too late (as in Im graduating soon) I feel he's not the type to make the first move so it'll have to be me. But Im also so very worried. I keep getting what ifs in my mind. What if he's not gay and its just me delusioning? What if he thinks Im too fat and not good looking enough? What if he's just not interested? Im just scared if it doesnt go well I'd have to face the awkwardness everytime I see him. I cant face the embarrassment. :bang:
If the thought of being turned down makes you nervous, why not try befriending him first? That way you can find out if you share common interests, and perhaps ascertain his sexuality before you ask him out? Perhaps you could start a conversation with him by explaining that you get nervous around new people, that way you won't feel as conscious of it if he's already aware of it. Even if you're too nervous to continue the conversation after that, you could ask to friend him on Facebook and continue the conversation via messaging.
^Good advice. Talking to a potential friend is a lot less stressful than a potential partner. Your mind will give you lots of reasons why things may fail, but you should also ask yourself are the consequences really that bad? If he's not gay, that's fine! If he is not interested, that may hurt, but you wouldn't be happy with such a person anyway. His reaction to you reaching out should have no bearing on your self-worth. Rejection hurts, but it's not as horrible as you fear. All-in-all, the best way to overcome your anxiety is to be direct and talk to him. Since your both students, there are many ways to strike up a conversation, about maybe your majors or hopefully some external shared interest. For example, you could ask what he's doing for Spring Break and mentioning what you will do.
