So, I live in a country that many still think of as progressive. But... I had to come out to my parents because my dad forced me to. He had seen me kiss a boy from uni. My parents are very religious. Originally they are Christians from a mostly Muslim country, and within their circle homosexuality is a deadly sin (sort of). So now they not only pray day and night for me, they want to send me to some priest that has to cure me. Of course I don't want to, and I have been opposing this for months now. But I have so little support at home, and I am kind of tired... I'm not asking for a solution you know, just a few kind words are enough to help me through the day. A few more years and my uni days are over and then I can hopefully find a job and a place to live away from them.
I understand that it is difficult to be yourself within a homophobic environment, and it gets harder knowing that the people who don't understand are the people who are close to you--like your family. My only concern for you is your health and safety, and that should be yours as well. Otherwise, I feel that you already know what to expect for yourself in the future: that this issue--this environment--is temporary and confined to this chapter in your life and you have every capacity to not only recover from it but to live with the happiness and respect you deserve.
Thank you and you are right. Perhaps I should start working on a backup plan. It's just that it takes so much energy and sometimes that is hard to come by.
Question: this situation also makes me sort of paranoid. I keep looking over my shoulder wherever I am. They can't really force me, right? I am even considering changing universities, meaning changing cities.... So many doubts...
I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. It's hard when your family can't accept you, and even harder when you feel like they're a threat to your safety. You're an adult, they shouldn't be able to force you to do anything that you don't want to do. Your well-being comes first. Do whatever you have to do to make that happen. If transferring universities means moving away from them, then think about it.
Thank you, thank you. I do indeed think that transferring Universities might work. Will most probably provide the much needed rest and distance.
Update. I haven't changed University (yet). But with help of Student Support of my University, I have a student room now. They gave it to me right away because they could see it was an emergency. They then escorted me to my parents home, and I gathered my stuff and they brought me to the new room. This means that I am now officially on my own, and scarily all alone on my own, because I have no one else, I only had my parents. But well, time to focus on my uni work, and make the best of it. And get my support here from all you guys and the friends I made here. And from now on everyone is allowed to know I am gay, so I am all out from now on.
