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What can I do to support a suicidal friend?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by emmadances, Mar 9, 2016.

  1. emmadances

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    A girl told me today that she has previously tried to kill herself. She's a girl who sits with me in history class, and we aren't in the same "group of friends" but my school is not very cliquey I guess, but I still don't really do anything with her outside of school,but I do think we consider each other as friends.

    She told her best friend this information, and her best friend didn't talk to her again after that.

    I tried not to act shocked (I was shocked) Because I didn't want her to feel I was judging her, which I wasn't.

    I talked through it with her for a while, and gave her my phone number and said she could call me if she wanted if she started to get these feelings again, but I don't think that would be much help to her because I feel like it would be hard for her to reach out while she was feeling like this.

    I suggested that she could try colouring in those intricate colouring pages to relieve stress, and I'm gonna buy her some felt tip pens and print her out some when I go to school, so she feels valued and respected as a person, which I think she's lacking right now.

    But obviously that is not a solution to the problem. We're 16 right now.

    I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone, which I haven't, but looking back on it maybe I should not have promised that.

    I really think I should encourage her to tell a teacher at school or something.


    I'm really worried, how can I help her???
     
  2. FalconBlueSky00

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    Encourage her to talk to the school counselor. And if her parents are NOT one of the reasons she wants to kill herself encourage her to talk to them too. You did help her today by just listening to her and taking her seriously. I see you are in the UK, I googled your local hotlines. Give these numbers to her.

    United Kingdom Suicide Hotlines - Suicide.org! United Kingdom Suicide Hotlines, United Kingdom Suicide Hotlines, United Kingdom Suicide Hotlines, United Kingdom Suicide Hotlines!

    As far as telling it's a hard choice, if at any point you think she's going to try or if she tells you she's going to kill herself tell anyone who will listen immediately, call the police if you have to. But is she's disclosing the past without future intention you just have to use your best judgement. As for how you can help her, ask her to help you with something. Like homework, a workout partner, deciding what shoes to buy. Anything, it doesn't matter as long as she can feel useful or wanted.
    Helping someone who is suicidal is very hard. If you feel you are in over your head tell your parents.
     
  3. Arrinstone

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    That's so scary
     
  4. demigodjay

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    Do you know why she is suicidal? If she trusts you enough to tell you that she is suicidal, ask her gently if she can tell you why she has these feelings. If she says she's not ready, don't push it. But I find that when you have problems going on in your life, it's very helpful to have someone to vent to.
     
  5. emmadances

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    Ok thanks

    ---------- Post added 10th Mar 2016 at 11:29 AM ----------

    Oops sorry I didn't mean to post just that,

    Thank you for All your replies. She said she's not ready to talk about it.

    So I'm going to make sure that some adults are aware of this, and wait for her to be ready for her to talk about it, and keep checking up ok her.
     
  6. idsm

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    Do tell some adults, asap.

    Check up on her regularly and if you get a vibe that she´s doing particularly bad sometime, do not leave her alone (eg. ask her to go to the movies or window shopping or something at that moment) Also do not dismiss any hints she might drop that she is going to harm herself. And if you ever suspect that she is currently attempting something, do not waste time calling her parents or anyone else. Go for the authorities first.

    Supporting someone depressed (let alone suicidal) must be a hard thing to do and perhaps it´s a burden that you shouldn´t have to carry at you age. You are very kind to care.