1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Being deceptive by coming out

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by JedenPolska, Mar 9, 2016.

  1. JedenPolska

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Virginia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    So there's this guy I've had feelings for since September, and have been thinking and changing my mind on how to come out to him since the year started. Recently, I've been thinking of just coming out, rather than expressing my feelings for him. Is that deceptive, since I'm not telling him why I wanted to tell him? Also, would it be wrong if I came out in a way that made it seem like I was questioning and not really secure in my sexuality. I just want to make it a comfortable environment, so that 1-doesn't change our friendship, and 2-allows him to express if he's ever wanted to be with a guy. I think coming straight out and being 'Can I take you out on a date?' even though it's more my assertive personality, would come off too strong. Your thoughts?
     
  2. Aspen

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2014
    Messages:
    1,470
    Likes Received:
    239
    Location:
    Ohio
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    There's nothing deceptive about coming out to him. If you're concerned about how he's going to react, you could start out more general--bring up LGBT topics or recent news. Otherwise, go for it. I don't think it would be good to say that you're questioning rather than secure in your sexuality. It's not really fair to yourself and could end up being a pretty steep lie.
     
  3. JedenPolska

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2015
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Virginia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I was trying to get there, but I was worried he'd be suspicious of my sexuality then. It doesn't really seem like something 17 year old guys talk about. I do know he would've voted for Rubio, but also likes Sanders. I'm not really sure what that means about his stance on gay rights, but he's a moderate. And yeah, the last thing I would want is to lie to him, but the next to last thing I'd want is it to turn into a big fallout.