Sorry. This post become a big one I met this guy named Benjamin within the first week after I moved to England. He asked me out one afternoon for a casual cup of tea. We hit it off fine. Benjamin was very career oriented and business like, and I was more of a party guy. Our personalities, although different, complimented each other very well. Our 'relationship' continued on for a few weeks. I learned more of Benjamin's ex-boyfriend. They broke up after dating for nearly 5 years, and it was apparently a very nasty separation. Benjamin would often speak about his ex and show me pictures of them together which led me to believe he still had feelings for him. (This was also my first time kind of dating someone so I might have just been thinking weird) Out of nowhere Benjamin starts to act very serious about us and asks me to move in with him. It kind of freaked me out a bit, and I wasn't sure what to do because I didn't want a serious relationship. So I turned his offer down and (I'm kind of ashamed of this because I should have been more mature) started to distance myself from him. I would wait hours to reply to his texts, or say that I was busy and couldn't hang out with him or sometimes just ignore him all together. Over time we obviously just stopped talking. Fast forward nearly a year and I've established myself with a good group of friends. Benjamin and I have reconciled thanks to a trip to London Pride (that is another story for later) and he has a new boyfriend named Thomas. Benjamin invites me over to his house one night for a party. I already had plans to hang out with my best mate Aussie, so I ask if I can bring him along too. Benjamin agrees so we head over. Aussie is 100% straight and very attractive for a guy, so all of Benjamin's gay friends (the only other four people at this party) were drooling over him the whole time. After the party I'm messaging Benjamin and I jokingly say that I'm jealous that Aussie gets so much attention just because he's straight. Benjamin then says "Don't worry about it. If I had to pick between you two, I'd pick you any day ". I laugh it off as a joke between friends, but the flirtatious messages don't stop. They aren't exactly frequent, but maybe just once a week he messages me and is mildly flirtatious. He'll invite me to come hang out (he and his boyfriend don't live together), or ask if I want to grab lunch or something. He never includes Thomas in these one-on-one plans. We've had the chance to hang out a few times, but it's always in a group setting because I don't feel completely comfortable with him alone. Thomas is usually there and he acts a little strange around me, like standing and hugging everyone except me as they leave. Benjamin recently asked me to move in with him, but as a normal friend roommate. I said no to this and explained that I enjoy my own house too much to move in with someone. Am I just being crazy? Or should I be doing something differently to alleviate this awkwardness that I feel? I am not interested in dating Benjamin and I want to be friends with him and Thomas. Should I just tell him that it's innapropriate? What if he is just being friendly? I am a bit socially oblivious sometimes.
