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Crush on the straight best friend - should I tell her?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by brittana, Mar 13, 2016.

  1. brittana

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I'm in my first year at university and I have a crush on my best friend here. She's (officially) straight, but she acts in a way that I would interpret as gay/bi if it was anyone else. She is very tactile, we sleep in the same bed quite often, we hold hands when we're watching scary movies... All these things make it impossible for me to get over her. Also, and this is where it gets complicated, a lot of her guy friends like her and she knows and it really annoys her because she doesn't like any of them that way. I know she must be attracted to guys because she says so when we watch movies and she's mentioned one crush, but sometimes I wonder if maybe she doesn't know/accept that she likes girls too. I don't want to scare her off by being one more friend who likes her, but it's killing me. I haven't told anyone else in our group either because we're a very tight group and I don't want to ruin everything. I know if I tell her/someone in the group, it will change things and I don't want that, but I also know that it's getting harder and harder to hold it in and I'm nowhere near getting over her. What should I do?
     
  2. penelope

    Regular Member

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    I have been in a very similar situation and it sucks. I still am quite attracted to her but I have accepted the fact that she's straight until she says something different. I was madly in love with her for over a year and it was killing me to hold it all in but I had to 'cause I had just come out and it would've changed everything in my group of friends to awkwardness. So I listened a ton of sad music about impossible love and friend-zones and wrote a lot of sad poems and stuff to get it out of my system. :grin: The main thing that helped me to get (mostly) over her was taking time away from her. And seeing her act the same way with her other friends as she did with me. It hurt like a bitch but it got my head out of the clouds and helped me realize it just is the way she is. I'm starting to understand that this may not help you at all. I'm sorry. It's hard because I know exactly how you feel and I just kind of had to force it away. And it worked pretty well I think, as I said I still feel pretty attracted to her and I wouldn't doubt for a second if she told me she liked girls too but for now, I'm just settling for my role as a friend she likes to hug a lot.