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My friend is crazy about me, what should I do?!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Rainbow Disco, Mar 13, 2016.

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  1. Rainbow Disco

    Rainbow Disco
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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Hello! This is my first post so please pardon me if I do something wrong.

    So I have this friend at school which is obsessed with me. It all started last year when I considered her as my best friend. After a few months, she constantly hinted that she liked me and then asked me out. I foolishly said yes as I didn't want to hurt her feelings (I also thought that I was bisexual) but I didn't feel anything special. Later on we broke up (2 weeks after she asked me out). After, we had the summer holidays and I really thought about my sexuality and came to terms that I am gay.

    When I came back for another school year, I came out to nearly all of my friends and my mum and they have all been so supportive except for her. When I came out to her, the first thing she said was "Are you sure that you want to be like that your whole life." Oh and I forgot to mention that I told her that on facebook since she asked me out a second time and I decided to tell the truth. The next day, we were having German class and the teacher wasn't there. Her and my two other friends were there. (Only one of them didn't know that I am gay.) We played a game where we had to say who we liked and I came out to this friend and she was very kind to me! :lol: On the other hand, my other friend (who asked me out twice, (let's call her Mimi to make it easier), was in shock eventhough I already came out to her the other day and she knew.

    Ever since that day, we are still friends yet, I am a bit disturbed by her. The thing is, she decided to write fan fictions about me and her doing it which really is not okay. It would be fine if she didn't tell me and kept her fan fictions private but she constantly shows them to me and writes them on her phone, RIGHT NEXT TO ME. It's so embarassing.

    Also, she acts as if she didn't know that I'm gay and flirts with me every day at school. I think that she doesn't understand the word "GAY" eventhough I explained it to her in a kind way, many times. She also acts as if I loved her back.

    What should I do? My other friends are all worried for me as they think that it's not very kind of her to do those things to me. Please help. Sorry if this was long and confusing.
     
    #1 Rainbow Disco, Mar 13, 2016
  2. Euler

    Euler
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    It doesn't sound that the lift serves her top most floors so to speak. You could try by telling her that you really don't like to hear what she has written about you and that you find it disturbing. I doubt it actually helps but you can try. Also, maybe a mutual friend could tell her she is acting weird.
     
    #2 Euler, Mar 13, 2016
  3. MayaBee

    MayaBee
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    okay first I am really excited that you are from Switzerland ._. In my half a year here I have never seen anyone from Switzerland heh.

    About your friend: I can't really give any advice expect to tell her what you feel about her and her fanfictions etc. I agree that it's really not okay from her to just ignore the fact that you are not attracted to her and maybe you just need to tell her clearly "it's not okay what you are doing". Maybe even tell her several times. If after all nothing helps, I guess you could just stop haning out with her, but I would rry other options first, since this is kind of an 'aggressive' way to tell you dont like what she is doing.
    I hope I was able to help and good luck!
     
    #3 MayaBee, Mar 13, 2016
  4. Rainbow Disco

    Rainbow Disco
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    Thank you very much! This really helps.
     
    #4 Rainbow Disco, Mar 13, 2016
  5. Miri

    Miri
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    Dunno if this is relevant any more, but here's my two cents: If you haven't already, tell her very firmly that you don't like what she's doing, and that you're happy being friends with her, but if you're going to stay friends, she's gonna have to stop writing the fanfics and obsessing over you, because it's just getting in the way of a perfectly fine friendship. If she still doesn't stop, draw away from her socially, limit contact until she stops, and, if necessary, talk to a trusted adult or authority figure about it. (Unfortunately, talking to a teacher or her parents, or someone else who has power to confront her about it, will likely damage your friendship, or even end it altogether. If you choose to do this, be prepared for the consequences.) The fact is, what she is doing is not okay, and verges on sexual harassment (I'd say it IS sexual harassment, albeit nonphysical). It is not just a crush and it is not just flirting. I am so sorry that you have to be in this situation and I hope she grows up. Good luck.
     
    #5 Miri, Mar 14, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2016
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