Encouragement needed in getting over a best friend with whom I'm in love

first off, you're great. your purpose for living is not to be with another person, it's to be a great person and love yourself and enjoy the world around you. partnership is awesome, but you have to spend a lot of time knowing and being who you are, accepting who you are, and valuing yourself without depending on others to validate your existence.

someone not loving you back doesn't mean you're not worth loving or that you're somehow inadequate. i am pretty much in the same boat as you. found out two days ago that one of my close friends i'm falling for has been into someone else (and due to a drunken love confession on my part) is now pushing me away.

it sucks so bad i didn't want to even get up this morning. my entire group of friends are hers. i don't have family or close friends outside of our circle and i feel terribly alone at times because i can't even talk to anyone here since they all know her. i suffer in silence (and on empty closets).

the point is this: you're going to be fine, but it's going to hurt and feel impossible for a little while.

the only way to move on is to try and separate yourself from him. i know that doesn't feel good at all, but getting distance helps. within that time apart, find a new hobby (or hobbies) and start doing them on your own. join meetup.com and go hang out with strangers who have mutual interest. start working out and going to walks. music! music is so awesome. something instrumental like God is an Astronaut or Explosions in the Sky.

You can also eat something really bad for you and wallow in netflix land. Keeping a journal is also an awesome way to clear your head.

Start trying to figure out what he was offering you and then find ways to fulfill those needs on your own. There's a company called Knock Knock with themed journals. Buy one and use it as a guiding pointing. It makes journaling easier and less of a chore.

You honestly have to refocus your energy on learning to love yourself. you have to learn to love yourself to love others fully. give yourself the same compassion and gentleness you want from others.

 

Hey,

I am sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch right now. Having a crush that is not reciprocated can be (and is often) painful but it is not the end of the world. It may seem like it sometimes but it really is not. This guy, as amazing and awesome as he may be should not be a matter of life or death to you, it is not healthy to project those kind of feelings onto someone. There are a lot of things/people for whom and which to wake up every morning and that start with you. You should want to wake up in the morning and make the most of that given day, if that's not the case and you are actually considering ending your life (for whatever reason) you must seek support and get the help you need as some people are qualified to help you get through it.
Try and take your distance from that guy, I know it's hard but right now your relationship is unhealthy and toxic for you. Surround yourself with the people that love you and do stuff you like, maybe join a new club or start a new activity to meet with new people ? Whatever that would brighten your day and is not related to that guy while allowing you to meet new people/make new friends is positive.

In a few years you'll realize that this heartbreak wasn't worth taking your life at all and you'll be glad you'll have gotten the help you needed.

(I talk as someone that have been depressed and suicidal before.)


Good luck OP and hopefully you'll feel better soon !(*hug*)

 

Even though I'm not going through the same thing as you, I too have been wallowing in unreciprocated crushes and lack of self-esteem lately, so I just want to let you know, YOU'RE NOT ALONE and YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE. I can barely get out of bed these mornings too, but I just keep trying to tell myself that this will pass. Life is not supposed to be one happy rainbow, and people like us are just going through a rough patch. It doesn't mean we're less awesome.