Ok, so this is my first ever post. It may not be the biggest problem ever, but it is something that bothers me and if someone else can relate, that's great! So I have been with my boyfriend for about four years now. We did break up a year and a half ago for three months, but ended up back together. I am thankful that we broke up though, as I grew more into myself. I came out about two years ago. I have told my parents and they like him and I have put it out on Facebook for the world to see. He has told his sister and two friends. I know it's not easy to come out and he is scared of judgment and that his parents will disown him, but it's been four years...I am growing tired of it now. I have had to act like a stranger when I walked past him and his parents and that really hurt. It's a while ago, but still hurts. He said he is going to come out to his family within a month. So I will let you know if that happens. Oh yes, I am 28 and he is 29. We have been living together for over a year now and it is the happiest I have ever been. But when he goes out with friends or his family, it just hurts knowing they don't even know I exist. I don't mind him going out without me, don't get me wrong! But I want to be known. I don't really know what I am looking for on here...probably just someone who can relate. I love him with all my heart, but sometimes I wonder, what if he never comes out. Would I be able to live this lie forever? Coming out is difficult, but it is the best feeling ever! And yes, there is rejection. Trust me, I know! But that is how you learn who is worth your time and energy and emotion and what not. Anyway, anyone that can relate or who has advice? Thank you! Mick
I can relate to your boyfriend's side of the fence. My girlfriend and I have been together over two years; she's always been out and I'm very much in the closet. At the moment, my not being out is based more on safety concerns than any fear of rejection. However, my family and friends know and like her, they just all think she's my best friend. Could you come up with some kind of compromise like that? The two of you are living together after all, he could easily introduce you as his roommate. I don't know what his family situation is, if he's financially stable or just afraid of losing them, but four years does seem like a long time to me. If you haven't already, you should talk to him. Not about his coming out, but about your feelings that you have to act like a stranger when he's with them and that no one knows about you. You mentioned that he's already told his sister and two friends. Could they help him come out to his family and the rest of his friends?
