I've started going to the lgbt group at school and I've made literally 0 progress in terms of making friends or talking to people. Everyone there is pretty loud, happy and outspoken and already know eachother. One person there has made efforts to talk to me, but that's all. I'm already really struggling to keep together the very few friendships i do have but it's hard because I'm depressed and angry all the time and don't want to keep pretending to be happy and talkative all the time because I don't feel that way. There are two other trans people there who I don't know and one guy who I had a kind of falling out/break up with years ago. I'd really like to make some friends, but it is just so difficult to do while I'm feeling so miserable. Also, all the people in the group seem to have a sense of humour i don't understand and they are all into stuff that I am not, like anime and musicals. I feel even more depressed if I don't go to the meeting or don't talk, but I m paranoid and upset if I do. Even if I did talk to people i wouldn't have anything to talk about because I have lost all interests and I don't do anything. Any advise, please?:icon_sad:
Ah, this is a situation everyone has had to deal with at some point and it's frustrating, I know: the sensation of everyone being comfortable with each other and you feeling like the outsider. When I studied abroad I was in a living situation with people who were the complete opposite personality with me (loud, social, love booze and parties), and I was stuck with them because we all lived together and had to co-operate somehow. Plus they were some years younger than me so it felt like there was something of a generation gap. Anyway, the beginning was awkward but after a time we acclimatized to the point of being comfortable with each other. I say it's about being open and a mix of not caring if people judge you and, well, not judging them either. The moment I stopped seeing my roommates as a bunch of kids I could not relate to but cool people I could potentially have a rapport with, I got along with them so much better. Also it just takes time. If they see your face day in day out they'll naturally get more comfortable with you and welcome you. Best of luck! I'm sure things will look up
thanks beowoolf, i guess i probably shouldn't be giving up so easily. Even though i know its the same situation everyone has to go through to make new friends, i've still never gotten used to it Then again, ive come to really understand why a lot of people with problems with their mental health find it hard to keep/make friends. It sucks so much, like a chain event; you get depression, its becomes hard to work, you begin to drive away friends, lack of social experience leads to decreased ability to make more friends....mental health suuuuuccckkksssss:icon_sad:
It does suck. But honestly, even the most confident and outgoing person probably has some self-doubt. One thing I try to remember is that the belief that people are silently judging us is in our heads. Human beings have enormous egos. Everyone in the room is too busy judging themselves (and how they look) to judge you! How old are you? Are you in high school? If so you have plenty of time to grow socially I didn't really get out of my comfort zone until recent years, and even in university, I still feel like a fish out of water. If you're out, you've already done a really, really brave thing most people in the world don't have to do or don't have the courage to do. So consider yourself on your way there!
