So yeah, my ex and I split after 2 years together, living together and with a gorg out cavoodle. But he broke it off with me two weeks before Valentine's Day after I called him out on the fact that he hadn't told me he loved me for a long time and that I couldn't even remember when the last time was. I kept it from my parents for a while and decided I wanted him to stay for the company which my family went on a 6 month trip. But since then all I get is grunts when I try talking to him... And he is constantly holding his phone so I can't see (not that I'm trying to) I met a really nice guy that I could see myself dating but it's not a great time.. I know my ex is talking to guys and flirting and god knows what else but I find myself so jealous of the fact he doesn't want me, said that he still cares but won't communicate with me even as just a friend. I don't know what to do.... I used to wish we would just try again but now I feel like I've seen another side of him and I don't like it.... I'm feeling lost and alone and I hate it Should I have never gotten him to stay? Should I ask him to start looking for a new place... I don't know.
I can understand that you don't want to be alone but it sounds like this situation hurts you and that's not good. You should probably take some distance, it's hard to move on if you keep living with him.
Being around someone that's having that much of a negative impact on your everyday life isn't going to do anything good for your emotional health. It sounds like you're not going to be able to move on and regain some stability until he's out of your life. I get that it's going to be hard to do but I think the best option for you at the moment is to ask him to look for somewhere else to live. Don't beat yourself up for asking him to stay in the first place because you didn't know that his whole personality would change and you were asking him to stay with both of you in mind, you thought you'd like the company. Its obvious now though that his company is more harmful than good and being around him isn't helping you in any way. You need to think about yourself. Hes made his decision to act like an ass and removing him from your life and being able to move on and date again sounds like the best decision right now.
Yes, definitely, in a polite manner ask him to move out at the first convenient opportunity and do set him some sort of reasonable deadline so that he isn't tempted to stay free loading. It's OK to change your mind. If you want to somehow justify your change of mind to him you can always say him that the atmosphere at the house is toxic and you rather be alone than live in such an environment. The atmosphere at your home is toxic and it is bad for your and his well-being and health to perpetuate such conditions. Just do it and ask him to go.
I would agree with others that you need to ask him to leave. There is a chance that this only recently dawned on him that he wasn't in love anymore but do you really believe that? Do you think he might have been messaging other guys before you split? I say this because if you have those sorts of doubts then you are just setting yourself up for more hurt. What will happen if he brings a guy home? Or even if he just stops out for a night with some guy? Don't put yourself through that negativity when you don't deserve it. I'd guess that if you do ask him to leave he'll suddenly start giving you a whole load of attention and vague suggestions that there may still be a chance for you. Don't accept any of it, he had his chance and now he's just treating you like a mug. Can you maybe put up an advertisement for a lodger or house-share etc. That way you're not living alone but you're still free to get on with your life.
It's your house, so it's your rules, and he doesn't seem like he's trying to be a helpful guest. Try not to second guess inviting him. It's in the past and can't be changed. You can only change your future actions. Read your first post and ask yourself what would you do if you had a friend with an ex living with them.
