A couple of weeks ago my flatmate asked me out. I turned her down because I don't have any feelings for her. My brother thinks I'm crazy because in many ways she'd be an excellent match (and he's right: she would). He thinks I should date her anyway and the feelings will come in due course. For me, though, it seems a waste of time dating someone I'm not attracted to, and unfair on them. The thing I don't understand is why I don't have feelings for her. I mean, you'd think that if you met someone who was a really good match, then you'd feel attracted to them, right? I've certainly had crushes on people who weren't a good match, and this is a rare occasion where I'm the one being asked out rather than the other way around. So why do I feel nothing?
Attraction don't work like "That person seems like a good partner material, I'm going to like the person from now on." It's not a conscious choice.
