I have recently come to terms with a crush I had once thought to be over. I have already dated the guy I like twice and have broken up to him both times, due to some things I found wrong with the way he dates. The first time, he was too clingy. He definitely fixed that the second time, however he was overly sexual. However, after breaking up with him the second time, I realized how much I still like him. I get nervous talking or being around him, I always look for him in the crowd, normal stuff like that. My friend asked another friend of his if he still likes me and the answer was favorable. However, there are two main issues; my gender identity and the fact I've already broken up with him twice. I came out to him as transgender FTM after the breakup and he didn't seem to mind. However, he is not gay nor bi nor pan. He is straight. I don't think he would ever date someone transgender. My friends say otherwise, but I'm not to positive about that. Also, he probably won't even think twice about dating him again considering our history. He's already trying to move on and likes this other girl, but again he still likes me. I don't know how much more of this charade I can handle. It's obvious I like him, though he doesn't know of course, but I feel that the chances of me dating him are actually quite slim. Am I being paranoid or do I just need to move on?
Maybe he would get back with you or maybe he wouldn't but I don't think that's really the issue here. If you did try to rekindle your relationship can you honestly say it would be for the right reasons? It isn't fair to play with someone's emotions if you don't even know if you really want to be together. I think you should probably try to maintain a friendship with this guy but not an exclusive relationship. Before anything else you need to spend some time focusing on yourself. What do you need from a relationship right now? What are you prepared to bring to a relationship? Once you know more about what you need and want, you will have a better chance of giving your partner what they deserve. This guy may be willing to accept you for you but you don't need to worry that he's the only person that ever will. If he isn't the right guy then let him move on whilst you find someone that is perfect for you, don't settle for the safe but unhappy option.
