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I'm a lesbian and my male friend fancies me...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by DragonsInSpace, Mar 21, 2016.

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  1. DragonsInSpace

    DragonsInSpace
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Northern Ireland
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Ooookay. So I've been friends with this guy for a little over a month. We get along great and have tons in common, we enjoy each others' company. But I just found out that he has a crush on me. My other friend, his ex, asked me if I'd consider going out with a guy and said that he had told her that he likes me and to ask me. I said no, I wouldn't and she took great pleasure in telling him that I am gay (he'd previously thought I was bi).

    The next day, I saw him in class where we sit next to each other. Things were a little awkward for a minute or two but we both laughed it off and made some jokes about his bad luck and stuff. We're still friends and things are chill between us.

    Now here's the thing: I wanna spend more time with him because he's a great guy but just platonically, and we're gonna be going to the same college campus next year so we'll probably see each other a lot there too but I don't wanna make him feel uncomfortable or awkward or give him the wrong idea when I invite him to hang out or whatever. He knows I'm a lesbian and he respects that, which I was pleased by, but I just dont want to make things awkward between us, y'know?

    Has anyone got any advice for this situation??
     
    #1 DragonsInSpace, Mar 21, 2016
  2. Systems

    Systems
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    Out to everyone
    I think since you're out to him as lesbian, he won't make any advances, and won't interpret you inviting him over as an advance on your part. Identifying as lesbian is a pretty good indicator of unwillingness to date/have sex with men.

    It sounds like you could make good friends.
     
    #2 Systems, Mar 21, 2016
  3. Creativemind

    Creativemind
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    You may have to give him some space to work out his feelings first (or if you can't avoid each other, keep it casual/shallow with him for a while). Over time the friendship will be fine, but you want to make sure he doesn't get any more attached than he already is when he's in this vulnerable state.
     
    #3 Creativemind, Mar 21, 2016
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