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Falling for a guy when I thought I was a lesbian...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by MsPurpleFrog, Mar 22, 2016.

  1. MsPurpleFrog

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So I think I'm falling for a guy, when I thought I was a lesbian.

    After much soul-searching a few years ago I came to the conclusion I am a lesbian because I am mainly attracted to women from a physical and emotional point of view. I felt comfortable with this, and relieved that I didn't have to work through any more soul searching with regards my sexuality.

    However - there is this guy I have been getting to know recently, and the more I spend time with him, the more my attraction towards him deepens. We have so much in common in terms of passions and interests, and time goes by so fast with him. We met up at the weekend, and I really felt like he could be someone I could seriously fall in love with. This feels like a very deep soul thing going on between us. He has said he is also attracted to me, and all the signs are there that we are slowly and cautiously starting to date.

    I am slightly overthinking all of this however as I am scared about the bedroom department - as given the choice between a handsome man and a beautiful woman (purely on looks), I would go for a woman. However, I do think/fantasise about him and I do like his overall physique - I do want to be with him and am very drawn to him.

    I just hadn't thought I would ever go near a guy again, so it feels all a bit foreign territory - and the clinical cold thought of being with any man is weird - but with him it's all very different and right now I frankly couldn't care less what gender he is. But I don't want to be with him and then change my mind and hurt him in the process. I guess I just want to put my mind at rest about this all; like any new relationship I am trying to be cautious and not enter into anything just because I get carried away with my emotions, but then on the other hand my gut feeling is that I really, really want him and could fall very very deeply in love with him.

    Any thoughts?
     
  2. britishatheart

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I think maybe you should talk to him about it. Express your concerns, and see what he thinks. But ultimately, the decision is yours-- and don't feel as if you can't date him just because you've already come out as a lesbian. Labels are only that-- labels-- and it's possible that you might be bisexual, or you are a lesbian with an exception for this man. Just do what makes you happy, and don't worry about having to brand yourself or your relationship. Best of luck :slight_smile: