Lesbian in an unsatisfying hetero relationship?

I'm 17 and a demiromantic lesbian.
I've been in this relationship with this straight guy for about a year and 2 months now.
This is my first time dating anyone.

A little background story of how I got into this relationship:
Before we dated, I was in love with my best friend who turned out to be very religious and homophobic. She and I have known each other since elementary school. I confessed in 7th grade. She didn't take it so well. Things were a bit awkward but eventually I was over it; I don't think she was though as she was beginning to get a little distant from me...but I was in denial that anything was wrong. On the first day of high school, I saw her and she automatically walked in a different direction. Eventually, she told me after school one day that we couldn't be friends anymore and that she became a member of her church and believes "marriage is between a man and a woman."

I cried for two weeks straight after that...

My grades dropped, I completely fell into depression and was lethargic. My mom is also religious and doesn't support me emotionally either. Eventually, my love for her ended after 6 years.

Anyway, a year and a half later, I decided that I didn't want to be alone anymore and I needed a new start in love. Maybe something to distract myself..? And because it's high school, I wanted something superficial and just something casual and light--nothing serious.
This guy and I got a class together and we had a really awesome time, lots of laughs, my day was pretty good once I got out of there.
Eventually we started dating and for the first 6 months things were really great. I was feeling like "wow this is how it feels to be in a relationship with someone who really loves you back!"

That was just a phase though..
My mom eventually found out we were dating (I'm not supposed to be dating until I'm at least in college). Things kinda went down from there. It's nothing that he did. He's a really great, nice, generous guy. But for some reason it just doesn't feel 'enough.'
I feel like there's more to explore because I'm so young. He's very committed to me and wants to keep it monogamous and serious.

The problem with this is because I'm a rebel. In freshmen year I helped a lot of people come out of the closet. Almost everyone knew I was a lesbian because I was one of the first few to come out. I was so very proud about my sexuality. Now that I'm dating a guy, I feel like I've given up. I heard my mom telling my dad that she thinks God has finally lead me to the right path of dating guys. My ex-crush/best friend saw me with him and smiled at us like she finally won. I felt like just gave into their wishes...
I also feel uncomfortable when I call him my "boyfriend" or when people say they "ship us" together. When I see straight couples doing PDA or at weddings I feel like I don't belong there. It doesn't sound right to me. Sometimes I think he's a girl when I'm talking to him. He's like "a gift and a curse" :/

Since school is almost out, I've been thinking of just breaking up, but, I'm not quite sure. He's a great guy, treats me very well and puts me first on his priority. Not a lot of guys do that around here, especially at this age. But I don't want to constantly feel unsatisfied either... If I break up, I may not even like my next partner and regret breaking up right now. There's just no guarantee that my next partner (most likely female) will be able to treat me like he does. I'm not really sure where to go right now. I don't want to drag this on for too long cause it'll only hurt him in the long run, but I don't want to regret it later either.. He says if we breakup we can't talk to each other anymore or be friends.

Has anyone felt like this before? Please be kind with your words. It's been something I've been pondering over for 6 months now.

 

Mmm I'm not really sure what it means to "love" someone anymore. When I was 'in love' with my best friend, it just felt right and I was very happy with that. I guess it's the feelings of having butterflies in your stomach. I don't really feel that way with this guy I'm dating. I mean it's only been a year of dating; am I supposed to still feel this happy and excited?
I'm mostly still with him because we have a class together and breaking up would be very awkward and because I'm just kind of looking for a suitable partner. But, I'm not really sure how I feel or what to do. I think breaking up will be more beneficial for both of us. It'll be hard on him at first but he'll eventually move on.