Bi guy with a prudish & controlling wife.

I am a married bisexual middle aged male. My first wife was bi and she andI were also swingers. I have known I was bi ever sice I began fooling around with boys as well as girls when I was in high school. I have never cam out as bi except to close friends. I have the stress of working in a job where it would really affect my carreer if I came out as bi.
I divorced due to long military deployments, had several bi girlfriends but was ready to settle down again and met a wonderful woman online. We dated, andI came out to her as bi, explained to her that I would Love her but that I enjoyed sex with guys and girls and there would be a point where I would want us to swing as a couple. She seemed intruiged and told me she wanted to try it but in due time and wanted to take it slow.. (that was two years ago). As I took it slow with the sex, she pushed the relationship into overdrive and rushed me into marriage. I agreed hoping that I would finally have someone who would accept my sexual desires and we could enjoy it as a couple. Our wedding day was like flipping a switch. She immediately began scolding me and yelling at me about how I hurt her feelings If I even dared to talk about having sex with anyone but her. It was like everything she told me about wanting to enjoy threesomes and swing together was a big lie just to trap me in a marriage. she even told me that I was not bisexual because I loved her and only wanted sex with her. She totally denies my sexuality like my desires do not exist. Everything I enjoy about sex she scolds me for. Even to the point of wanting to control what I wear. I like to show a little leg and wear short shorts and I love wearing tight jeans. I don't consider myself a crossdresser but I do love my short shorts. She demands that I never wear them around any of her friends. I am so sexually frustrated that even getting to talk to anyone else about sex would make me feel better, but she scolds me and tells me I am being mean to her if I talk about anything sexual with her friends, even when her friends bring it up and I simply answer, she interrupts me and scolds me for hurting her feelings. She refuses to talk to me at all about anything sexual, and when I try, she blows up and it's world war three. Outside of sex, we have a decent relationship, but I am pretending to be happy when on the inside I am hurting and feel beaten and forced to conform to her standards rather than getting to be the person I want to be. I like my short shorts and tight jeans. I like having threesomes, I like being nude in front of others, and I have always wanted to be involved in a large bisexual orgy with multiple people. That is who I was before I met her and that is who I am now, but I have not been allowed to even talk about those things, let alone do any of them since we married. It is like she became a completely different person the day we married. I love her and I want to save our relationship. She dosent even realize that I am unhappy. How do I tell her that I am a bisexual guy who loves her but enjoys sex with others?