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How To Deal With Narcissistic Insensitive Friend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Sackle, Mar 24, 2016.

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  1. Sackle

    Sackle
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    I have a problem with some one in my class and i need some help in how to deal with him because I'm incredibly lost. We'll call him Bob.

    So Ill set the scene:
    - Firstly he is extremely narcissistic and lies constantly (hes also very bad at it as well) and has gotten to the point where i cannot trust anything he says.
    - Secondly he cannot help but always putting his two cents in to any conversation me or my friends are having even when we are not even talking to him. Whenever he does he"ll act smarter and better than us and say something that sounds smart (but is actually complete bulls***)
    - Lastly he is very insensitive and does not think about what he is about to say before he says it. For example we have a girl in our class who was fundraising or cancer (a family member recently passed) and she managed to raise over $1000 for charity and a the end of it she shaved her head. she was ecstatic at what she was able to accomplish and then bob said "she looks like she has leukemia" which made the girl storm out crying. this is one of many times he has done something like this

    He has last year told our dean I was bullying him which i wasn't (the dean even agreed with me once i explained myself) and then afterwards bob starting using this against me saying "Didn't the talk with the dean teach you anything". Not even a full week went by after accusing me of bullying him he told me "Your mums probably disappointed in you and doesn't love you"

    I dont know how to handle him and he doesn't leave me alone hes got me on edge whenever i work with him because all he does is act smarter than everyone else doesn't listen to what i feel or say.

    Please does anyone know how to handle someone like this
    (Im open to any questions you may have as well)
     
    #1 Sackle, Mar 24, 2016
  2. AlmostBlue

    AlmostBlue Guest

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    Can you just stop hanging out with him? Tell him that his behavior is seriously disturbing you, and he could defend himself all he likes or make it all about you, but that changes nothing for you and that you don't want to hang out.
     
    #2 AlmostBlue, Mar 24, 2016
  3. Sackle

    Sackle
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    I honestly try but he doesn't leave me alone. He seems to think my opinion doesn't matter and when I tell him that what he says I don't like and I cannot work with him because of his narrcism he make me out to be the a**hole or ignores me and keeps talking. Nothing I can do deters him from following me and since we are in the same class most of the time he can sometimes be impossible to get away from.
     
    #3 Sackle, Mar 24, 2016
  4. TXTurbo90

    TXTurbo90
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    Maybe you should consider reporting him to the dean for his (obviously) inappropriate actions/comments. It would give him a taste of his own medicine.

    Also, have you spoken with others that you hang out with about his actions? People like him are hard to get any points across to. Maybe you can ask your friends to ignore him as well and/or have your group all tell him to go away when he starts interrupting/being a turd on a united front. Only large scale rejection with the help of friends stopped situations like this in the past. (Except physical altercations, which I do not suggest... I would always win being a wrestler in high-school, but it lowers yourself to his level, and on-campus suspension is not fun.)

    Good luck! (*hug*)
     
    #4 TXTurbo90, Mar 24, 2016
  5. Chip

    Chip
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    The problem with narcissists (and he sounds like one) is that they simply have zero regard for anyone else, nor do they even acknowledge any criticism given to them. It's not in their DNA. Shaming doesn't work, guilt doesn't work, basically there isn't much of anything that's going to make a meaningful difference.

    So, sad to say, there really isn't much you can do here except complain to your dean, and find a way to avoid him. Your dean, on the other hand, can bring him in and set severe consequences if his behavior doesn't change. Even consequences have limited impact on narcissists, but if he fears losing something (such as ability to be in class with others) that might be sufficient motivation for him to alter his behavior somewhat.
     
    #5 Chip, Mar 24, 2016
  6. Sackle

    Sackle
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    I've tried talking with the deans when it first happened and he basically told me I don't know what to do probably because his parents are under the assumption I am the bully and bobs a little angel and if he gets in trouble there will hell to pay from his parents. I have had to talk with his parent before and they were very confrontational about the stuff I've "done".

    And tx turbo about your second point everyone in the class is sick of his crap but he forces his way into other peoples conversation and I guess no-one has the heart to tell him to go away (something I struggle with sometimes to because if I say it to harshly I'll feel like an a**hole and have a ticket to the deans.
     
    #6 Sackle, Mar 24, 2016
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