Hi , This is kind of a follow-up to a thread that I started earlier so I'll put the link to it at the bottom of the post. But to summarise: last January, a guy (let's just call him X) probably went through my journal in which I talked about being bi. His parents are really homophobic and mainly out of fear I have avoided talking to him, until now. Today, I found out that I would be visiting X on Monday and since this is the first time since the incident, I want to clear things up with him. However, I am only about 70% sure that he read my diary in the first place. X is fairly young (13), immature and has homophobic parents who are in close touch with my parents so I don't actually want to come out to him yet as I haven't come out to my parents yet. How do you know whether someone knows you are bi, without asking him upfront and coming out to him? (Because if I did end up coming out to him it probably would be an unwelcome surprise.) Plus he is a kid and the only people I have some out to are around my age (around 16 - 18) and they are much more educated on sexuality. I would hate for him to out me to my parents and if I talk to him I could probably convince him to keep it a secret. The worst thing would be to deny that I'm bi and then have to come out to everyone again. Should I just come out straight to him or just leave it and face the consequences? Is there a way of just knowing when someone knows one of your deepest secrets? Link to thread: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/family-friends-relationships/205253-somebody-read-my-journal.html
There is no point in bringing it up at all. If he read your diary and knows about you and wants to out you then he either he would already have outed you or then he is going to confront you himself. Make a plan if he asks you but if doesn't don't bring it up at all.
I'm guessing he would have outed you already if that was his plan. Also, outing you would mean admitting that he read your diary, so he has an incentive to stay quiet about it. If you bring it up, you'd be dredging up something that he'd probably rather forget as well. Then on top of all that, you're not even sure that it was him. So all in all, I think you're safer not bringing it up. I'd just go and see how he's acting. If he gives any indication that he's going to rat you out, talk to him, but otherwise just let sleeping dogs lie and hope for the best. I think the odds are in your favour.
I'll just try and act normal and pretend nothing has happened. I he doesn't say anything, but there might me the chance that he might out me. The main reason I think that is because a couple of months ago, my little sister went on one of his social media accounts and wrote on it saying "I'm gay" and pretending to come out to all his friends. I was quite angry with my sister at the time but it didn't really help him much as it was all online by then. He was teased at school for that, for a while and as a result he was angry at me and my sister for a long time. So finding out I'm bi might have been the perfect opportunity to get revenge. But the fact that he hasn't outed me yet surprises me, and suggests to me that either he is waiting to confront me or he has ignored it. Am I overthinking this?
I can understand your nervousness, but you're probably overthinking it. I really think he would have done it already if he was going to. Is he the dramatic type? Can you picture him waiting to confront you and make a scene? Would it be worth it to him to admit reading your diary? It might be worth having a backup plan just in case, but you'll probably be fine.
Your diary is presumably not announcing on every page that you are bi, right? And even if he had the access to your diary it doesn't mean he actually read the whole thing or even the parts that discuss your bisexuality. He might have just opened it from a random place and read a page and put it back.
