1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Binders....

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by UncookedHorse, Mar 28, 2016.

  1. UncookedHorse

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2016
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Portland
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    So, my mom told me over Easter that she'd be more supportive of me and try and except me. When I told my mother I was a boy she had a screaming fit and questioned me non stop until I was breaking down mentally. Now that she's FINALLY, after a year, excepted me.... At least parcially, how do I ask her for a binder.... I'm so scared from the last episode of her's. I'm 15, have money, no job, and can't send it to my house without her knowing.... She's more than overprotective and confused. HELP!:bang: :help:
     
  2. TeddyGraham

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2016
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    If you can have it sent to a trusted friend's house, you have a way around that. Also, shelving books at the local library for 6 hours (at minimum wage) can get you enough money for a binder.
     
  3. Ghostling

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2015
    Messages:
    169
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    If you really want to ask her for help, I would suggest that over trying to go around her, although that's always an option if things with her don't go well.

    Try finding an appropriate time where you'll have enough time to speak, but also an easy out to have an escape after the conversation so you can do some self care (if needed) and give your mom some time to think. Try bringing it up by acknowledging her efforts in trying to understand you, make her feel like she's an integral part of your life and that she's important. However true or not it is, it's never bad to throw in a little appreciation when you want something ;P. Try tying that into your comfort and emotional health. Be sure to explain what a binder is, and have answers to the questions she's likely to ask (health concerns, cost concerns, etc.) maybe even show her the website you want to buy off of, or show her pictures of binders so she can have an actual concrete example of what it is you want. That way she might be less likely to form some sort of image in her head that freaks her out (it happens). I'd try something like "So mom, I know it's been really hard for you to wrap your head around my whole gender identity thing, and I really appreciate what you said over Easter. I'd really like to get a binder which is ______"

    More than anything, just remember to give her time, and if she reacts badly then know that that's her issue and not yours. If your mom doesn't end up working out as a resource for your binder issues, TeddyGraham's ideas aren't a bad place to start.