I definitely don't plan on settling into an unhappy relationship, but at the same time I'm tired of waiting for this mythical "one" person that's supposed to be the perfect partner for me. I've been in love before and liked guys before but there was always something that prevented things from becoming a truly satisfying, mutual relationship. On the other hand I only came out relatively recently so I guess it may still take some time and some kissing of frogs before finding my "prince." Tbh I'd like to just avoid the frogs altogether, but I'm getting impatient being perpetually single. The thing is I've dated girls in the past and I always felt that girls, at least the ones I was involved with, had a much higher relationship IQ than most of the guys I've been interested in. Is it really that hard to find a mature gay guy who can provide me the sort of unconditional love and support that I received from girls? Is there even such a thing as the "one"? I feel like most gay/bi guys are mainly interested in sex or are extremely emotionally unavailable, at least in terms of the ones I've been interested in. It's not that I'm not interested in sex, it's just that I don't want to sleep around and I'd like to be with someone who also doesn't like sleeping around. Is it my taste in guys that sucks? Am I attracted to the guys who just want to sleep around or are emotionally distant and that's causing me to shoot myself in the foot again and again? :dry:
Hi mlansing, The harsh reality is that there is a lot of ideas given to us through stories that aren't realistic. They only sound good in theory. I am not so well versed in relationships that I can perfectly tell you the ins and outs, but I can tell you that a good relationship involves many factors and isn't down to whether it's 'written in the stars'. I'm currently in my first relationship that wasn't a short fling where I was being used. Is it perfect? No way! Is this the only relationship that I could be happy in? No way! But, what's made it last is a combination of healthy behaviour and willingness to forgive that the other person isn't perfect. Finding a relationship where this can happen can be difficult! I know exactly how you feel because I've been in your shoes and could be there again. Try to take it easy on yourself and remember that you're trying your best. I know that being single can be difficult or lonely at times but smile anyway! When you find a relationship you are happy in, you'll look back and be so grateful you were single and not taken by someone else. That's how I felt when I met my boyfriend, and suddenly I knew that being single was a good thing. Seeing it that way might help you. All the best. SEK
hi mlansing, Sek is absolutely right, you cant rush into things take it easy, you should enjoy single life right now because when you get together with someone no matter how good of a relationship it is you wont have that freedom anymore I mean don't get me wrong, I love my husband very much and we have lots of fun together, and he is the best that has ever happened to me, but when the time is right your prince will come, because like you I was the same way, until I realized I need to enjoy my single life a little longer, and then that's when my husband came along. so he will come, and when he does I am sure the both of you will be very happy. Good luck out there. keep us posted.
Maybe there's a chance that you're looking for guys in all the wrong places. If you're meeting guys on the gay scene in clubs and bars or on "dating" apps then you will mainly meet guys that are looking for sex. It isn't easy meeting gay men in the rest of the world but the harder you have to work to meet the guy, then surely the more rewarding it will be to meet him. As for 'the one', I don't believe that out of the 7 billion people on this earth, there is only one perfect match for each of us and they usually happen to be living reasonably close. If you do believe that then you should probably also expect to win the lottery jackpot at least a few times each year. You will eventually meet a guy that you want to spend the rest of your life with, you might already know him but all you have to do is keep an open mind and remember that it might not be the person you were expecting.
