Hey guys :smilewave, I need advice to know something...why do I love someone that seems to enjoy abusing me. I have a friend in my school, and when I used to hang out with him all the time, he would always hit me or call me names and basically make me feel like I didn't belong around him and it was hurting his reputation, but, for some reason, I liked that he was actually doing this stuff to me, for some reason it made me feel useful, almost as if I felt like a useful punching bag. Is this normal, would this be called masochistic, or would it be just me not realizing that he basically only wants me around to be his, well, pardon my language here, bitch?
No, this is not normal feeling. I don't think it is masochism but I think it is indicative of psychological problems of some sort. Perhaps repressed emotions or unhealthy family dynamics are behind this. Perhaps you could tell us about your family and childhood and if you have had this sort of feelings for a longer time?
Hi DreamingAnother, Why you love someone who enjoys abusing you is not a question that I can answer, period. Although others can help you on the journey, only you can answer that question. Take some time to carry out some introspective searching for some answers. Even if you think that everything is okay here, I sincerely recommend taking time to ask yourself questions that prompt your subconscious feelings to come up. Ask yourself questions that center around your happiness here. Go deep to your core and begin to excavate the foundations of who you are, as your question tells me that you don't fully know -- but don't feel ashamed, you're young and that's expected. As we grow older, we learn how to see how our experiences shape our subconscious mind. Everything in your life up to this point has affected how your brain reacts to things. In this case, things in your life have made you a person who is enjoying some aspect of this friendship. I encourage you to find out what it is about the relationship you enjoy, and why that might be. Although there is not a point in this process where we can say "I have all the answers now", you must have the patience and diligence to continuously carry out this introspection. Maybe this is a more complicated answer than you expected, but I've tried my best to break it down and spell it out. I hope you can gain from my answer what I'm intending to pass on to you to. I encourage you to do some more reading around introspection, self-therapy and meditation to educate yourself on its importance and how to do it. All the best. SEK
Thank you guys for telling me this, I've been wondering about this for a long time now, and I'm glad I can finally ask someone about it. To Euler, my family so far has been disfunctional, with many of my family members saying I'm mental or yelling at me about stupid stuff, and it's basically been hard for me to even talk to them without feeling like I'm being attacked, so I wonder if that's the reason...
Well, I cannot say that is the reason but I suspect your dysfunctional family sounds like it has contributed to this and other issues that you have (which I'm sure you have although you have not explicitly mentioned about them). Since you are 15 you are still most likely in school. Perhaps you could go and talk to your school psychologist about your issues. The earlier you address this and other problems the easier and cheaper it will be for you. I wish I had gone to talk to the school psychologist at your age but I didn't realize that I had problems.
