Is my best friend toxic or is it me?

Hey There's a girl I've become best friends with over the course of two years. When I first met her, I thought she was so intelligent and interesting. We were like minded and liked the same things etc, so we ended up hanging out all the time and became fast friends. I'm at a point where I can barely handle being near her sometimes and I honestly can't tell if it's because there's some flaw in me or if she's just toxic.

She gets me mad so easily because she's constantly screaming about how the world is against her. A lot of bad things have happened to her, so I feel I shouldn't judge especially if her feelings are changed by years of depression, but there are so many people with far worst lives. Perhaps it's wrong I think this, but I find it tiring that she keeps blaming everything that happens to her on the universe hating her. She's incredibly negative and shit talks about her friends or puts them down.

Part of me thinks I'm too nice or even unsympathetic. A lot of her actions are a kind of knee-jerk reaction due to being bullied as a child and her depression, but I would never tell someone it made sense they didn't get into the college they wanted or that something they're really excited about is actually shitty and why. It's not just realistic the way she is, it's insensitive and off putting.

Should I be more understanding if I know she's that way? Am I just really offended because I'm far more caring and emotional than she is, so I'm too sensitive about people's feelings all the time??? I'm sorry, I don't even know is this is an answerable post. I just hate feeling this way. I feel bad for her because I understand why she is the way she is, but I find the things she does ugly so I get angry anyway. I feel like I should accept her for her flaws but sometimes, even the small things bother me and I wonder if I should just suck it up because she's the best otherwise. Someone told me it's not really pathetic of me, more just unfortunate. I'm not sure

I'd like any advice or if you've ever known someone like this. It's like I hate a lot about her, but I love a lot about her too. There's no winning.

Just to add, she doesn't outwardly put down her friends per say. It's subtle and sometimes I honestly don't think she thinks its wrong or she rationalizes it in her head as everyone being too sensitive...

 

Thank you so much. I think you organized all my jumbled thoughts. I do have immense problems with her attitude towards life, because not only is it a self fulfilling prophecy when she preaches that she's doomed to be miserable, but she ends up having a lot of buried resentment and it comes out when she clashes with the people around her. Also, she is getting treatment, I think. She goes to therapy and told me she just came off a certain medication recently, but she's always been as she is now so I doubt it accounts for that. I suppose I will keep supporting her, like I have been. We'll inevitably be distanced a few months from now because of college, but sometimes I'm scared of leaving her, because I'm afraid she'll be under such immense stress in college, especially will how she deals with work and her issues, and is going to end up committing suicide. I hope it doesn't come to that but I know it might. You never know. In any case, thank you.