This isn't necessarily a question thread. More like a thread for people like me to share their stories of why they can't come out to their families. At one point last year I came out to my friends as bisexual, an identity I falsely labeled myself as at the time, and I blocked my family from it because I know that they're not very accepting of the LGBTQIA+ community. My mother, somehow, found out about that post and she was pissed at me. I lied to her and told her that I wasn't bisexual. That it was just a phase. And it crushed me. I actually believed that I was straight after that lie. But I'm not. I'm pansexual and my gender identity is genderfluid and besides two of my cousins, Ryan and Ashley, who I have a closer bond with than any other relative, none of my family members will know about how I identify. It is my mother's past reaction that has made me afraid to come out to people unless I know that they are accepting of people like me. Well that's my story. What's yours?
I don't think I will ever be able to come out to my family (i.e. my grandparents, I grew up with them) either and that kills me a little everyday. My grandparents love me to pieces and I do think they are rather open-minded for their generation but the following happened the first time we talked about gay people. It was a short while after I came to the US to study (I am Chinese). I was chatting to my grandma on skype (yes she knows how to use the internet ) and she said something along the line of: I heard there are homosexual people in the US. Is that true? Have you met any? Stay away from them... Let's just say that conversation did not go well and I finished my stash of liquor right afterwards out of frustration and maybe sadness? It happened a few more times since then but I always just re-directed the conversation for the sake of my own sanity. I am pretty sure if I out myself to them, they will just think this country has turned me into a freak. Okay I have to stop because I am really sad now. I know this is not a competition but I hope my story makes you feel a little better (in a twisted way:badgrin
Unless your plan is to never leave that closet you should start by correcting them now and inform them that hate speech is not tolerated around you. Start laying the ground work now for the future conversation that you will have to have at one point.
I just can't tell how they feel about things. One day they're laid back and liberal, the next, my dad's UberCatholic. They've accepted all my LGBT friends without a moment's hesitation, but they've also said things like "it's harder to accept when it's your own kid". They don't seem to have any issues with the queer community, but my dad especially seems to feel like being straight and cis are the only "normal" options. They seem to be all for equality across the board, but they don't rally for it or against it. They've made passing comments that were less than PC, but they were innocent enough to have been said out of ignorance rather than intolerance. It's just too complicated. But I'm really pushing my limits, everyone knows by now.
I left the closet to everyone else I know. But the only family members that I ever plan on coming out to are the two cousins that I have the closest bond with. I just don't feel the need to come out to my family. Ever.
