I've lived in this house with this guy for the last two years, and we've been good friends the whole time. He recently came out to me as bisexual, whereas I came out to him as gay about a year ago. Ever since he told me he's bisexual I've realized that I had deeper feelings than I thought I did for him (when I thought he was straight it didn't even occur to me that we could be a thing). I now feel that I'm basically in the same situation I was in when I fell in love with my male housemate a few years ago, except I didn't say anything then and just agonized over it constantly (it turned out later he felt the same way, but by the time he told me it was too late). I don't want to make that same mistake. My question is, how do you ask out a friend? As in, how do you make it clear you want to date and not just hang out like normal? Do you literally say, "hey, do you want to go on a date with me?" If anyone has experience with this I would appreciate the insight. Thanks.
I think there are two ways to do this: 1. just ask him out. As you said, you would have to be clear about it being a proper date, not just two friends hanging out. 2. tell him that you like him and see what his reaction is. Maybe he likes you, too, maybe he doesn't (yet) but would consider going out. Maybe he just wants to be friends. You could also try to figure out if he likes you without saying anything but in my experience that's really difficult, and you said you've had a negative experience with not saying that you liked someone, so I think a more direct approach might be a better idea in this case. Good luck!
I'm almost positive that nothing will happen unless I say something or make some kind of move so I'm definitely in favor of the more direct approach. Thanks
I would reaffirm his decision to open up to you and then I would immediately ask him if he would be interested in going out on a date with you. I have found the direct approach works about 90% of the time and if they say no often they are flattered that you asked in the first place. Especially if he admitted to being bi. It's NOT like you're saying you're in love with him so it would be awkward if he doesn't reciprocate. You are just asking for a simple date. It's harmless. Depending upon how you say it he should be flattered.
This is really sweet! Just go for it He won't stop being your friend, the worst that can happen is that he'll say no.
