Hey, I've got a huge crush on a really amazing girl. I met her once, she came into my bar and I was working day shift (I work at a gay bar) and she showed up looking for someone (which later ended up being one of my vest friends) and I met her again through my best friend, later asked my friend if she was single and he said she was, so I told her I thought she was cute and she performed and I told her I loved her performance. After that we added each other to Facebook started talked back and forth and she started coning into the bar more, and more. And one night she asked me out to coffee or lunch and I accepted and put my number in her phone. Since then I've been falling for her, she's amazing and I'm so attracted to her. I got out of an abusive relationship with a man a few months ago, I had a girlfriend but she didn't think I was ready to move on because it was a big break up and I became isolated and depressed. Now I'm not and I wanna give this girl my all, she's mentioned a few tines that I was going to be her girlfriend and I always said yes. But lately, she's been very distant. She says she likes me but she only does after I tell her, she says that she's a sad person and she isolates herself and I do that same, I go thru periods when I want nobody around or everyone. But I just don't want to lose her interest by being to smothering or by being too distant. I have no idea what to do, I wanna be patient but I don't want to be hurt at the same time. Which is how I think my ex felt when I was really distant from her.
She says she was going to be your girlfriend why not ask her out on a date officially and get to know her you like her she likes you what's the problem you can tell her you want to take it slow
I think the best approach would be to tell her exactly what you've told us. Just find out from her what she needs to feel more comfortable, and give her that. Having to constantly worry about whether or not you're pushing too much or not enough will be endlessly tiring for you. I think it's better to clear things up right away instead of allowing yourself to get further invested in the relationship without knowing whether or not you're on the same page. Like you said, it's hard to figure out if she is distancing herself because her feelings aren't as strong as yours, or if she's just isolating herself and needs to know that she's got your support.
