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Feeling Selfish for going back to college

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Matto_Corvo, Apr 13, 2016.

  1. Matto_Corvo

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    I feel selfish for going back to college. I recently told my aunt that I'm enrolled in summer and fall classes. A few hours later she asked if I was going to be in school in November, which I confirmed that I was.
    She immediately got this look and told me that her and my uncle were planning a cruise and needed me to watch their dogs for eight days in November.

    For a little info on their dogs. One they inherited from my uncle's mom when she passed. The dog is afraid of almost everyone she doesn't know. The other dog is 13, needs insulin shots twice a day, needs a heart pill at night, needs a bladder control pill twice a day. She has a weak blatter and needs taken out every 2 to 3 hours or else an accident might happen. My aunt refuses to put them in kennels and they don't trust anyone else to stay at their house to watch the dogs.

    So I immediately started worrying. Due to not having a car I will be dropped off at school in the mornings around 7:30 and will not return home till around 5 in the afternoon. The dogs will be alone that whole time. I immediately regretted going back to school. How selfish of me to put what I want before helping out my aunt & uncle who do so much for me. I have this same reaction when I look for a job and they bring up needing me to watch their dogs. (They do pay me nicely for dog sitting. $60-80 for three days of sitting at their house and watching TV. $100 if they are gone longer than that)

    What makes it worse is that I have not told my family my plans for the future. I'm currently enrolled in a technical college, and like many of my peers I am just using the place to get my GPA up to transfer out. See that part my family knows, but they just assume that I plan to transfer to one of the two universities that are nearby. Some place that I can be easily picked up if I am needed. They also assume that I want to go to school for business.
    What I haven't told them is that I plan to transfer to college/university in Los Angeles. My reasons are clear enough to me, but I doubt they would be to them. My first reason is my desire to transition from female to male. I have come out as trans but no in depth conversation has been had on the subject and they still treat me like a girl. With how things are going down in the South I would feel better transitioning in a much friendlier state. My other reason is what I wish to do for a career. I want to work in the film industry, my specifically I want to work with scripts in some way. To work with the written word as it pertains to film. I want work on getting a degree (masters teuthfully) in creative writing, with a minor or bachelors in film. I feel with both these end goals in mind then Los Angeles is the logical choice, albeit frighteningly expensive.
    I don't know how to tell my family this. I don't know how to make them understand. I understand that they'll see both as a silly endeavor.
    My aunt never understands why someone would want to leave our small southern town.

    I Aldo can't get over the guilt that I am running away from my family. And I feel selfish because who will watch my aunt's dogs?

    I stress about this a lot. And I know it will all seem sillybto others, that I am do bound to my family.
     
  2. TraceElement

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    Don't feel selfish. You enrolled in classes before they asked you, so I see it kind of first come first served.
     
  3. Matto_Corvo

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    Yeah, but I knew they were planning on a cruise at some point. I just expected them to take a 3-5 day cruise. Friday-Sunday I'm usually free do whatever people want.
     
  4. AlmostBlue

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    They are the ones who decided to have the dogs and who also decided to go on a cruise. It is not your responsibility to take care of the dogs, but theirs. You are not being selfish by following your path, this is only natural. If you are not available, then they just have to find a way to take care of the dogs in other ways. Don't worry about it, they will manage, and you should focus on your studies. It seems like you've got a nice plan, I hope it all works out!
     
  5. beowoolf

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    I get you, man. This may sound cliché, but as someone with an East Asian background I totally understand the parents-want-me-to-do-something-practical vs. I-want-to-do-something-I-love dynamic. I'm also an INFP, creative writing major, and aspiring screenwriter myself!

    I think, at the end of the day, you are an adult, and you have full "you do you" right. I think it's worth acknowledging to your family that you understand they only want the best for you, but their idea of "best" is not the same as your idea of "best." Plus, times have changed.

    Eventually, we all have to leave the nest. It's challenging, but it's the fact of life. Perhaps your priority right now should be financial independence and getting the funds necessary to attain that degree. That way the family doesn't have the pressure of supporting you and not getting to see you. Also: I'm in an awesome creative writing program in Canada and there are a lot of Americans up here studying because it's cheaper even with the international student fees. Just putting it out there in case you're interested in moving up to Hollywood North!
     
  6. Matto_Corvo

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    I wouldn't even know how to go to a school out of the country lol