Well for starter's I'm gay, but only out to my immediate family and around 6 of my best friends. I live in a highly liberal area (ever been to Minnesota?) so homophobia and discrimination are pretty rare here. I'm finishing up the last few months of my high school career before moving onto studying biology at college (!) Anyway, I transferred schools my sophomore year, leaving behind a lot of my friends, meaning that my out status also got left behind. As a result, nobody at my current school knows about me. Don't get me wrong, I'm 100% all of my friends would accept me without a problem, I just don't think that what - or who - I like is anyone's business. I kinda climbed up the social ladder while I was here and I met a lot of great people, but there's one guy in particular that keeps me guessing. Let's call him Tim. Basically, I've had classes with Tim before, but we weren't really friends. We would talk on occasion, but nothing that I would consider serious. Then one day, he sat next to me in study hall and we hit it off. We have a lot in common, we're both very liberal, similar views on religion, sense of humor, we dislike the same people :roflmao: and overall he's just a fun guy to be around. I'm usually hardly ever friends with guys. I've always hit it off better with girls and the majority of my friends are girls, so I'm not sure if this is common behavior for guys to do with each other, but here it goes. We became really close over time, we would go out to eat after school, snapchat each other all the time, walk to classes together, gossip together, we saw two movies together, had a great time, and then one day he made a 180 and he became really cold towards me. Idk what happened, he just started being mean, would act annoyed at my presence, make rude remarks, and overall just be a jerk :dry: So I tried to distance myself from him cuz I don't really need that kind of behavior in my life, but I noticed he'd stare at me from afar, wait for me to finish after school activities so he could talk to me, and it was only after school that he would act normal again, he would act as if nothing ever happened and everything was normal, which is like "huh? you literally told me to 'fuck off' earlier and now you want to make plans?'" I noticed that when he's around his friends (We have a couple mutual friends, but we're in different cliques. He hangs out more with the jocks [Cross Country, Hockey, Basketball players] and I'm friends with more of the preppy, partyish but intelligent people) that he'll treat me differently and be more jerkish (his voice even goes down an octave) but when we're alone or around my friends he'll nice and funny and stuff. I'm not romantically attracted to him at all (I'm kinda after a cute blonde with a great butt :lol: ), but I just want to know what could be causing him to be so... bi polar towards me? He's said he's not gay before, but sometimes actions speak louder than words, and I'd rather not continue the friendship if its just going to cause more damage than good later on.
He sounds a lot like me way back when before I was ready to admit my sexuality lol. It's hard to read, but he may just be in the midst of trying to figure out/come to terms with his own sexuality. Then again, he may just be highly confused and wants to figure YOU out, since you say you're not really out right now to your current school. It's difficult to say really.
To me there was nothing in this story that would suggest he is gay. The things you did together are normal behavior among friends. The reason why he might give you cold shoulder when his other friends are around could be that he does not want the others to know that you are good friends. Perhaps his friends think you are too nerdish or preppy or whatever and your friend feels insecure about his relationship to them so he wants to play down your friendship to them. You know, kind of childish high school stuff.
it is hard to say what he is trying to do, but he maybe confused. also, just because he is not gay does not mean he is straight. he might be confused. not just about his sexuality, about you maybe. I don't want to give you hope out of nowhere since you don't even have romantic feelings for him but this is a weird act, it is not a bro behavior. he might be into you and does not want his friends to find out, he might be curious or confused about his sexuality and wanting your help/opinion but first trying to get to know you better or he might think his friends are uncomfortable with lgbt stuff. you know, there are even more possibilities than these. I say focus on the blondie :icon_wink but you can ask him why is he acting in so weird and confusing. because you only live once, you don't have enough time for people to distract you this much
I would agree with this, unless there have been some other more telling events that you haven't disclosed, then there is little to suggest that he's gay. In all schools, social hierarchy is present and sadly a lot of people choose their social rank over the quality of the relationships they have. My understanding is that this is highly prevalent in US culture so it's very likely that whilst he's happy to be your friend out of school, he's not prepared to sacrifice his social rank at school. Maybe it could work as a real world friendship but you are clearly more mature and confident in yourself than he is and you will have to make allowances for that, as painful as that may be.
You need to call him out on this next time he does something like that to you. Tell him it's not funny, that you thought you were friends, and that if that's the way he's going to treat you then you don't want to be friends anymore.
