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Wondering if there is something wrong in our relationship now?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by DiamondLife2016, Apr 19, 2016.

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  1. DiamondLife2016

    DiamondLife2016
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2016
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Sacramento
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I have been with my GF since November 2015, we hit it off great! And became like best friends, Things for the most part have been great! We have recently had some ups and downs with fights in the last month from insecurities on her part/ things shes just not OK with.. As in her gf being friends with other single studs which caused an uproar, since I'm more of a STEM and I make friends with anyone given they are respectful and not threatening my relationship . My gf is not ok with this seeing shes just never been ok with this sort of thing.I asked why??? Shes just like idk I just never have been? I said well u cant tell me who to be friends with its simply NOT right or ok, Now i have never given her a reason to think im untrustworthy or that I would cheat- im simply NOT that person. Her ex did this crap to her over the period of their 9 year relationship and I think it took a toll. She is a awesome women who is independent , strong willed, who speaks her mind just as much as me, it caused two major fights and it set me back some. Seeing I will loose my attraction to someone like really quick if we start fighting... ugh it sucks! Shes so worth staying with , I even had purchased her a promise ring already as well and shes deff worth keeping.She has told me and I her that its Marriage with us some day.. deff.. But One of the fights caused her to RE think the ring she had said she was getting me cause she obviously wasn't ready and it caused some resentment even though i'm NOT that kinda person... But it did hurt. A LOT!. Now I am dealing with this whole ( I feel like im NOT head over heels like I once was for her) but im still happy with her.. Is this ok? Is this normal? I mean u cant be in honeymoon stage forever ..right? I just wonder how long I will feel this way? We have been much better the past week and a half with getting over this situation and no more fighting every night but I still feel blah! My friends all have aggred with me and have given great advice, but just wondered some more if this is why Im feeling like im not so Crazy over her like I once was...
     
    #1 DiamondLife2016, Apr 19, 2016
  2. R M

    R M
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    357
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    Location:
    Eindhoven, The Netherlands
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    well ive been in a situation a bit similar to yours. I think that your gf is jsut really scared of you cheating, because how big the impact was that her previous partner cheated on her in their 9YEAR RELATIONSHIP. thats gotta be really tough. I also think you two might be putting too much pressure on yourselves with the whole rings and marriage drama. Its obviously not gonna work out if tyou two have a problem like this. I think it's normal to not be totally head over heels about someone. First you absolutely LOVE the person sooo much. after a while it dies down a bit and you still love her, but you wont go crazy about her anymore. its normal to me. it's only gonna be a problem if you really start doubting or looking at her in a bit of a negative way.

    my advice is to just have a talk with her. tell her you can imagine how hard it is to end in such a bad relationship before being in a relationship with you. tell her that you love her no matter what, and that she has to trust you, otherwise it will never work. its a bit impossible to have a good realtionship if you dont trust eachother (atleast thats what I think). Also tell her that you two should take this so fast immediately talking about marriage. tell her that the stupid ring doesnt matter, and that you just want to be with her no matter what. tell her you love her lots and lots and dont wanna lose her ever!

    I hope this may have helped. If you wanna talk, feel free to contact me on my wall one you reach 10 posts.
    good luck and lots of hugs for both of you :slight_smile:
     
    #2 R M, Apr 19, 2016
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