I feel repulsed by me. When I look in the mirror I see something I hate with a burning passion. Everytime I have a relationship no matter how much he tells me I look good or that he likes me I don't feel like I deserve him nothing I do is good enough. I hate my life, I don't trust anyone not even my own parents I'm terrified of people for dumb reasons like if my parents say my freinds are here Im usually to scared to leave my room and I don't know why I feel like somethings going to happen to me. This has gone to a point where I won't go places that people tell me to go and I really don't like when even my family touches me or gets near me. I have a good relationship with people but all my fears and anxiety are just getting repressed and my days usually end with a panic attack. I feel bad for letting everything come out but I can't do this anymore I can't keep a smile on my face and say I'm happy when I'm dieing inside I want to go away, from people and just I don't know I can't live like this anymore. And nothing for me is the answer I hate myself but I'm the only one I can trust I want to be a person I want to live with out fear I just don't know what to do please help
I have experienced this kind of situation many times, and I have days like these how you described sometimes.. How I'm struggling with them? I just try to find positive thoughts about myself inside no matter how good or bad I'm feeling. I don't let dark thoughts swallow my thoughts, in order not to do something REALLY bad (believe me, when I did that, I woke up and my hand was like in these horror films, where a guy wakes up in a dark place with full of blood pile near hand zone). If you cannot battle with your opinions about yourself, I recommend you to look for help. Sometimes not only psychiatrist is the solution.. Talk with somebody who you trust the most, and, believe me, you'll feel a lot better after this. I wish you luck, and hope you'll survive this bad ''disease''. (*hug*)
I don't hurt myself mabey one day il do it again but I stoped a while ago and thank you for the motivation but I really have no idea what to do my mom who works in a mental hospital thinks I'm acting for attention and won't belive me when I tell her and my emotional support teacher won't belive that I can't handle this I have dug myself into a hole where no one will belive me when I seek help people say I'm to calm. I'm only calm on the outside but in reality I am breaking down I feel close to having a mental breakdown I really can't deal with this I want help but there no one who want to help me
