A lesbian relationship advice for a beginner :)

I'm former straight, now, I guess, I'm bi-sexual.

I met a lesbian girl recently who came to my town for a job-related project. We've met on ******, clearly it was only for making new friends as expats. We are both in our late 20s. She's newly single and I've been single for a very long time.

However, I had an immediate crush on her, which was absolutely new to me. We went out for dinner and then for a walk, than we went out for a concert where she asked me if I was prone to homosexual relationship. I said honestly, that yes, I was.

Then we hung out for the 3rd time, it was a loooong night in a group of people, we ended up at hers, I was sober, she was a bit high/drunk, not wasted though, she told me she's not an aggressive and attacking type, then she told me 'I think you should kiss me', I gladly did, we made out, she played with me too, we both were extremely tired and fell asleep...

She had to leave for her home country the same morning, we slept only for 2 hours or so. I helped her to pack and had to go to work. We hugged each other goodbye, I was too shy to kiss her, I don't know why, I behave lame around her. She said we keep in touch.
I texted her to check if she made it to the airport on time, she replied and then texted when was on the layover.
She will come back in 4 months and will stay for another month.

I'm confused and don't know what to do. I was quite proactive with her, texting her, inviting here and there. I told her I liked her and she said she liked me too. However, we've never spoken about anything romantic. I made her a gazillion of compliments. And all she said about me was that I'm funny, aggressive and bossy (she added, which is not bad) :icon_redf

Since I'm new to a gay relationship, I'd like to understand what should or shouldn't I do in this situation.:icon_redf

Shall I just let her go since it's long-distance too? Or should I try to keep in touch with her?

She has left and I'm sooo sad

 

Hi! Thank you so much for your support! The question is that I'm not sure how to approach/pursue her since she's responsive but moderately. For example, I texted her on snapchat that I'm already missing an opportunity to ask her out, she replied with only sad emoji. And haven't tested me ever since. If it was a guy, I would wait for him to contact me, but I'm not sure how I should behave with her not to appear clingy/needy, at the same time to keep her interested. I believe she's a butch from outside only... She's one to be approached. I'm just not sure that she likes me enough to be okay with my initiative.

---------- Post added 24th Apr 2016 at 07:30 AM ----------

A solid piece of advice here. Thanks much!

 

Honestly, this is the way I am, very direct and upfront. However I'm concerned that it can scare her off. Probably this is normal to question everything when you like someone. I guess, in this situation it would be a good solution, since I'm not really sure how she feels about me. Thank you so much for this reply, it gives me a little bit more confidence.

 

A little update:

I've sent her an email yesterday. I tried to be funny, light but serious at the same time. I also attached a music video in a relation to our 'story'. It's been 24 hours and she hasn't replied yet even though she's posting on snapchat and checking my snaps

I guess, that the lack of reply is already an answer. I'm not going to send her any follow-up emails, probably she will reply eventually, but something tells me that we're not on the same page and I have to move on :'(

 

Thanks much! Actually she texted me today telling me that she's very busy, but she's not ignoring me and will respond me properly. And she called me love, not sure if it means something or she's just being nice. I'm trying not to over think. :icon_redf

 

Basically, she says that right before we met she ended up her a few years long relationship (actually her girlfriend initiated), and since she's a dedicated person she understands how much energy and effort a commitment requires. That right now straight after a relationship, she needs more time for herself and her career blablabla She says she's not rejecting me, she likes me and attracted to me, but she cannot commit to anything serious and don't want to give me any expectations...

Well, I'm feeling hurt... Because casual dating is overall not what I can do, since I fall very quickly.

All these days I'm extremely sad.

She's asking me what I think about it, and what can I tell her?

I don't know how to act, what to tell her...

This is my first woman crush. And a real crush for a very long time. I've been single for the past 4 years, had only short-term stuff with men.

Can I win her over somehow? Should I just remain friends with her? She says she wants to spend more time with me and to know me better, but she cannot promise anything. And I'm just so afraid of the situation where I fall in love deeply and she won't still want a commitment. I want to protect myself...

I would really appreciate any advice or just a simple support, since I didn't come out as a bisexual, I cannot share it with anyone but the community...

 

She didn't mention that she's feeling hurt (I guess, she is though). She says only that she wants freedom.

THIS! Thank you, it really makes me feel better.(*hug*)
If it was a guy, I would assume he just wants to keep me as an option for fucking. In this case, considering the fact she's a woman, I tend to believe her. She will come back only in a few months, hopefully, this time will also heal her and she will become more open to something more than casual dating. To be honest, logically I understand that I need to date around, I've already set up a date with another guy, buy after I met her it feels like no one exits in this world for me anymore. I genuinely haven't felt anything similar for a very very long time. I'll try to keep it cool though and give her some space.

The question is how much initiative/active should I be in online communication with her? Text her daily/weekly/monthly? Or just on special occasions? What do ladies prefer in such cases? (I can't judge by myself, because if I like a person, I want to be approached frequently and I never 'need space') :icon_redf

 

Thank you, buddy! you are very helpful and give me some confidence too

So far so good, she even texts me first some time lol

 

Apparently not THAT well though *sigh

She came back to her hometown. And she's going to live in the same house with her ex til the end of the lease (the end of the year) :eek: I was like: okay, I understand all this sharing/lease/accommodation issue. I kept it cool (it's not like I have many options lol).

BUT! She started to post snaps after coming back, and she put this caption to one of pictures: "you know it's real when she takes care of your plants when you're away"

So... I think that they're simply back together with her ex just straight after her return home. To be honest, I think if I ask her directly it will look possessive/needy. Just right before she came back home, she said they're still best friends with her ex. But her post confused me:icon_sad:

I don't want to bother their relationship if there's any. But I don't want to give up on her so easily too. :eusa_doh:

 

Hey guys!

So I'm facing a new dilemma! lol

She will have her birthday soon, we're keeping in touch with her, even though our communication is not intense, it's more like checking each other from time to time with simple how's it going. She's still having this ex-drama, I'm still crushing over her like crazy.

SO! I want to do something nice for her birthday and since it's long-distance these are options I have:

- Send her flowers with balloons
- Send her a book as a gift
- Send her a post-card

I really really want to send her flowers, but I'm a) not sure if she likes flowers b) a bit concerned that it will be too much (will it be too much)? I personally LOVE receiving flowers. And honestly I want to surprise her, but I don't want to scare her off.

What would be your advice?

Thank you loves!